Twister (1996)

I wasn't particularly a fan of this disaster flick when it was released 30 years ago, but it's only increased in '90s kitsch value for me. A meteorologist takes her soon-to-be ex-husband out on an inadvertent tornado hunt, as she attempts to deploy a new-fangled device within its vortex to further her scientific research. If you're a fan of seeing wind blowing shit, this'll be right up your alley. It's charming specifically because of the chemistry between Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton (R.I.P.), who bicker and argue all the way up to its very predictable conclusion. Don't think about it too hard and you'll find something to enjoy in it.

3 displaced flying cows out of 5

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003)

A second dose of continent-hopping nonsense offers up a sunken temple and ‘underwater level’ Lara for your arousal.
Between action scenes and a shallow love interest, Jolie manages to make Lara appear strong even when she’s in a vulnerable position, so kudos to her for that, but the rest of it sucks. Largely due to the fact that the villain is lame; Elmer Fudd on a sugar-rush would be more menacing.

1½ accessories out of 5