Roofman (2025)

An escaped convict makes his home at a Toys 'R' Us store where he lays low during the day and comes alive at night. Meanwhile, he develops a relationship with an employee there and must juggle two separate lives while keeping on the down-low. Channing Tatum makes the performance, in a sometimes sad and wistful comedy, which I also found quite charming. Based on a true story.

3 peanut M&Ms out of 5

The Toxic Avenger (2023)

What fresh hell is this? 14 years ago, I mentioned the long-awaited reboot of The Toxic Avenger. It finally arrives. And it's fucking awful. They turned Toxie from a "hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength" to a 4 foot freak, but that's the least of my problems with it. They ruined everything about it; the gore, the comedy, the romance, sex/nudity, music and violence. Even though it's "unrated," it feels tame and the CGI kills lack that raw, brutal DIY feeling of the original. The humor doesn't hit right, and worst yet, it lacks any sense of danger or controversy. The characters aren't relatable and the villain is way too one-dimensional. It's missing all the charm and fun of the original series. I can't tell you how utterly disappointed I am by the lot of it. 

This isn't for OG Troma fans, and if you think it is, you're just a poser.

1 acid dissolved chain out of 5

Brothers (2024)

Peter Dinklage and Josh Brolin play Twins brothers who grow up together committing petty crime after their mom ditches them. When one of them ends up in the clink, the other goes straight, and they reunite after he makes a deal with one of the guards to be let out early, and must convince his brother to go on one last heist. Pretty conventional comedy that probably sounded a lot funnier on the page, but required more skill behind the camera to pull it off. There's far too much talent in the cast for this type of garbage. Features the final performance of M. Emmet Walsh, who deserved better than this.

1½ monkey handjobs out of 5

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

Set one Earth year after the end of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), PC begins hurriedly and gets steadily worse. Jumping directly into an action scene robs the Prince of some much-needed characterisation and relationship building. Thereafter, the basic events of the novel are referenced but there's so much new stuff that at times it's barely recognisable as Lewis' Narnia. The world is pretty but has none of the magical feeling.
The new additions aren't just at odds with the source - they actively change the entire tone of the piece. It's an almost complete travesty in which original and new utterly fail to gel. They even cocked-up Reepicheep!
The saving grace is Lucy and her attachment to Aslan, even though it's weakened and Aslan's inclusion in Adamson's script feels like obligation.

2½ sticks and stones out of 5

PIXELS [2015]

With lowered expectations Chris Columbus' Adam Sandler sci-fi/comedy, Pixels, is actually pretty watchable as something mildly entertaining.
It is indeed a fantasy universe when it's folks like Sandler, Josh Gad, Peter Dinklage & U.S. President Kevin James saving the world from aliens who have taken the form of classic '80's arcade characters.
It'd be too easy to dismiss Pixels as simply dumb but it really is just that.   Sandler steps back, yawning, and allows Gad & Dinklage to steal every scene they're in which makes for the best bits in the movie (which still isn't much).  There was a lot of potential to get something as hilariously imaginative as Ghostbusters but instead we get another Evolution.
Funny how all three films mentioned in this review feature Danny Aykroyd.  Coincidence?

2 Paperboys out of 5

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST [2014]

Director Bryan Singer returns to the X-men franchise for the prequel to his own series and a sequel to the excellent prequel, Days Of Future Past.
Confusing?  Yes and no.
As long as you have your nerds hats on and are fairly knowledgeable of the comics then you shouldn't have a problem.  If this isn't your case you're still in for a pretty great ride that never ceases to entertain and enthral with it's many character moments and extravagant action sequences.
Like the best of the X-films, this one carries an emotional punch that will have your heart left in a grey area as to what is right and wrong, depending on your love for humanity.
It's a story that threatens to collapse under it's own weight but never does thanks to Singer's wonderful storytelling and impressive ensemble cast.  Overall, it's easily one of the best X-films to date.

3½ cameos, cameos, cameos out of 5

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM [2013]

When you've collected Peter Dinklage, Summer Glau, Danny Pudi and Ryan Kwanten in one film you know you're in for some nerdy genre cinema.
Holliston's Joe Lynch directs Knights Of Badassdom, a horror-flavored comedy about a bunch of goofs who accidentally summon a Hell demon while LARPing in the woods.  It's not quite as good as it could have been but neither is it as bad.  It's a blast to see the cast ham it up like this but unfortunately some of the dialogue is pretty bland and is in dire need of some sprucing up.
However if you know the difference between doom, sludge & black metal and have rolled a twenty-sided die more than once in your life  then this might be the film for you.

2½ Manowar covers without the muscles out of 5