The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

Set one Earth year after the end of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), PC begins hurriedly and gets steadily worse. Jumping directly into an action scene robs the Prince of some much-needed characterisation and relationship building. Thereafter, the basic events of the novel are referenced but there's so much new stuff that at times it's barely recognisable as Lewis' Narnia. The world is pretty but has none of the magical feeling.
The new additions aren't just at odds with the source - they actively change the entire tone of the piece. It's an almost complete travesty in which original and new utterly fail to gel. They even cocked-up Reepicheep!
The saving grace is Lucy and her attachment to Aslan, even though it's weakened and Aslan's inclusion in Adamson's script feels like obligation.

2½ sticks and stones out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE [2009]

Director David Yates really lays down the dark & dismal in the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series, The Half-Blood Prince.
With Voldemort & his Dark-Eaters waging war on both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, Harry learns more about the Dark Lord and how he came to be, as well as discovering disturbing evidence of how much the two are actually alike.  While the previous films were a healthy balance of style and substance, this one leans more towards the striking visuals making it  just too damned dark to be much fun.  When it does have a bit of a laugh it breaks the tone and feels ridiculously out of place.   Even the actors, apart from Alan Rickman and Jim Broadbent, don't seem to be up to par with their previous performances.  Still, it is perhaps one of the most important chapters in the series, seeing as it's tragic ending leads to the explosive conclusion.
I like to consider this the calm before the storm.

3 bumpy bridges out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS [2002]

Summer's over and it's back for a second year at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft & Wizardy in director Chris Columbus' second film in the colossally popular Harry Potter series, The Chamber of Secrets.
The series gets slightly more darker as Harry gets older and this is just the beginning as the boy wizard & friends are prey to a series of bizarre attacks that leaves it victims petrified.  Once again the set design, music and faith to it's source material are all top-notch,  However, as a whole, the film seems to just be a continuation of the an introduction to the world and hardly does anything to develop the tale of where the series eventually goes.  It's entertaining enough and if you loved the first one then this one will suffice.

3 unbearably annoying Jar-Jar/Gollum hybrids out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE [2001]

aka
Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone

Director Chris Columbus faithfully adapts the first novel of J.K. Rowlings' popular children's fantasy series, Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone.
Pint-sized pip-pip Harry Potter, after living with years of abuse from his aunt and uncle, is whisked away on his 11th birthday to Hogwart's School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, where he discovers he's far more important than he was priorly led to believe.  Blessed with beautiful visuals, gorgeous set designs and an astounding imagination, the film's biggest flaw is being so faithful to the book it sometimes hits some severe lulls in it's 2½ hour running time.  Fortunately it has an impressive cast that flaunts the instantly likeable chemistry of it's core child cast and it's who's who of adult actors that enjoy their tea & scones. Not a whole lot happens, apart from some beautifully fleshed-out stand alone scenes but that's fine seeing as it's merely setting up the characters and world for the adventures that lied ahead.  

3½  earwax flavored jelly beans out of 5

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

A soulless, ruinous version of The Hitchhiker's Guide that’s had all the deadpan wit filtered out of it in an effort to make it shorter and, I presume, appeal to a wider audience who don’t understand British humour. Ironically, the abridgement was for the best because the casting is so abominable that the sooner it ended the better. Many of the actors don’t seem to understand their roles at all. Even Stephen Fry, who’s given the impossible task of replacing the voice of Peter Jones, can’t save it from itself.

1½ generally bad moves out of 5

Ashens and the Quest for the Gamechild (2013)

YouTube reviewer and hoarder of plastic/electronic tat Stuart Ashen receives a mysterious package in the mail that sets the pale one on a quest for the elusive Gamechild (a cheapo Gameboy knock-off). The Indy Jones comparisons were expected, but beneath the homage it also serves to highlight how ridiculous those films really are.
At times it also feels like a poor-man’s Simon Pegg film, but that too seems intentional and is touched upon in the narrative.
It's a little flat in places, and people pop in and out for no reason, but if you’re a fan of Ashens’ style it’s a funny and rewarding experience. It’s also surprisingly well-lit considering it was shot in Norwich; it must have been during that week the sun came out in summer.

2½ ass-calls out of 5

Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)

AKA: Leprechaun 5

Shit.

0 racial stereotypes out of 5

Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)

Why, oh why do they always insist on sending characters into space? You know your series is beyond hope once it gets to this point. I'm sure the idea of putting the leprechaun into a futuristic setting and containing him on a space vessel where he can wreak havoc seemed like a good idea on paper, but in reality it sucks.

1 Alien clone out of 5

Leprechaun 3 (1995)

The old Leper (?) heads to Sin City! You'd think this would lead to plenty of inspired moments, but actually the series all goes downhill from here. Once again, the greedy elf is on the hunt for his missing shilling, killing anyone and everyone who gets in his way, in the most inventive and violent manner possible. I really wish these movies hadn't lost their way, because the character of the Leprechaun is as charming and malcontent as Freddy Krueger. When pitted against the humans, you can't help but root for the little guy.

2.5 dirty limericks out of 5

Leprechaun 2 (1994)

This time, the leprechaun goes looking for a bride in this sequel to the cheesy classic. I've got to say, Warwick Davis is great in these movies. He embodies the characterization of the leprechaun in both voice and look perfectly, cementing his worth as a modern horror icon. The lep's a bit more personable in this one too, which lends to more laughs and playful interactions. I like to think of these movies more as comedies with bits of gore added to them.

3 unlucky sneezes out of 5

Leprechaun (1993)

It's the role Warwick Davis was born to play.
Holy shit, this brings back memories. An evil leprechaun goes looking for his missing gold shilling after being released from under the curse of a four-leaf clover. Cheesy laughs ensue. Notable for being Jennifer Aniston's first major movie role just one year before she struck gold on Friends. Bet she wishes she could bury this one. I actually find it very entertaining, however. This is one of those movies I class under "so bad, it's good."

3.5 lucky charms out of 5