The Driftless Area (2015)

In this quirky and understated crime drama, people on the fringe of not only society but reality itself are involved in a relatively simple story. The bare bones plot is slathered in BS filler in the form of reoccurring discussions on the metaphysical nature of the future and predetermined fate. In his feature-length directorial debut, Zachary Sluser achieves an intriguing tone. There is an obvious passion behind the performances but nary a raised voice. Even when shit gets heavy, there's still a calmness to the action. Anton Yelchin and John Hawkes are particularly anemic. There are times when it's difficult to decipher where each character stands; in life or in death, but I believe it adds to the whimsical mystery of the film.

3 lucky rocks out of 5

YES MAN [2008]

I wanted to watch something forgettable, not very good but somewhat entertaining to pass the time as I gave my brain a rest.
Director Peyton Reed's Jim Carrey vehicle Yes Man seemed to fit that description to a tee.
Carrey plays a man who decides he has to say "yes" to everything in order to start living life in a better way...the results are sometimes hilarious.  30 seconds into the trailer of the film you'll predict the beginning, middle and end, so if you're expecting more than be prepared to be laughed at.
It isn't very good...at all...but it did it's job and for that I commend it.

2 Prisoners of Azkaban out of 5

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

A soulless, ruinous version of The Hitchhiker's Guide that’s had all the deadpan wit filtered out of it in an effort to make it shorter and, I presume, appeal to a wider audience who don’t understand British humour. Ironically, the abridgement was for the best because the casting is so abominable that the sooner it ended the better. Many of the actors don’t seem to understand their roles at all. Even Stephen Fry, who’s given the impossible task of replacing the voice of Peter Jones, can’t save it from itself.

1½ generally bad moves out of 5

ELF [2003]

I normally steer clear of Will Ferrell films but I have a big ol' soft spot for director Jon Favreau's refreshing Christmas comedy Elf.
Ferrell plays a hopelessly optimistic man, raised by Santa's elves, who finds himself searching for his roots in the cynical world of New York City.  It follows some pretty clichéd plot-points and you know exactly where it's headed within the first 5 minutes but due to Ferrell and the rest of the cast you can't help but find your heart warming up to it's simplicity.  As safe as it is for the kids, it thankfully supplies enough laughs for the whole family to enjoy, with a few faces gramps will recognize as well.

4 Cotten-Headed Ninny Muggins out of 5

ALL THE REAL GIRLS [2003]

Director/co-writer David Gordon Green introduces this generation to one of the first mumblecore films with the romantic All The Real Girls.
It's a quiet, dreamy heartfelt drama that perfects those familiar moments of nervous love, both happy and hurt, with poetic perfection.  Beautifully shot, well-acted and each cast member suits their role with comfort and believability.  It slow-burns it's way through the moments but it's so well done there are 15 second scenes with a single line of dialogue that speaks so much more than some films with scenes that drag on for 5 minutes.
An amazing second feature from DGG that feels like lingers like it was part of your own life.

4 clowny clown clowns out of 5

THE HAPPENING [2008]

M. Night Shyamalan's crafted some well-made B-movies since The Sixth Sense but it wasn't until The Happening that the "joke" wore off.

The viewer is assaulted with bad acting, writing, direction and so many bad bumps and flaws in the pacing it's embarrassing.  It might have greatly benefited from not being so quick to reveal itself and an ensemble cast to give it more of a "bad disaster" flick but instead we're only left to give a rat's ass about Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel.   Fuck that.  They're about as fun as watching a tree grow and do scary tree stuff....whic really isn't that scary.

1 watch out for that plant! out of 5

500 Days of Summer (2009)

A Rom Com with a difference; the difference being it’s really good. Its greatest achievement is in successfully recognising the clichés that have dogged the genre for so long, playing around with them, using them when necessary and then tossing them by the wayside on occasion to create something fresh and engaging. It’s quirky but never irritating. I don't hate Rom Coms, but I rarely enjoy them as much as I did 500 Days.

4 non-linear narratives out of 5

THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD [2007]

Director Andrew Dominik continues his fascination with criminals in the historical drama The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.
A slowly paced cinematic experience that's focuses more on the psyche of the troubled characters rather than dissolving into a shoot 'em up western. Brad Pitt is great as Jesse James but it's Casey Affleck who is absolutely wonderful in his haunting portrayal as James' killer, Robert Ford. They're joined by an impressive supporting cast including Sam Rockwell and Jeremy Renner. It's beautifully shot, using some really interesting camera & lighting techniques to enhance the dramatic time period. It's a gloomy, stark character study and closer look at celebrity obsession that still speaks powerful words over the generations.

5 Caves in a bar out of 5

Our Idiot Brother (2011)

I went in expecting "Dinner For Schmucks" and ended up with a piece of goddamn shit dribbling out of a half-open asshole. I wanted to slash my fucking wrists, this movie was so inane. It's all about a guy who is good natured and tries hard to do the right thing, but always ends up a fuck-up. Sounds fucking familiar to me. Paul Rudd is charming as his hippie character, the movie just isn't very good.

1.5 turds out of 5

YOUR HIGHNESS [2011]

Horribly received box office disaster not quite as bad as everybody said it was.

It’s not really good either.

A few good chuckles in this tribute to ‘80’s fantasy movies struggled to keep my attention from start to finish.

Danny McBride is one of lucky few who can punch Natalie Portman square in the face and still get a laugh.

1½ Perverted Wizards out of 5