Trap (2024)

Here is an example of the premise of a movie out-performing the actual execution. Josh Hartnett stars as a father who takes his daughter to a pop concert while the police are surrounding the venue and setting up a "trap" to capture a serial killer. The initial twist of this movie was ruined in all the trailers, but do yourself a favor and go into it as blind as possible. If you're not a fan of M. Night Shyamalan, this probably won't convert you, but it's fun in that batshit "trainwreck" sort of way where you can't look away. The first half of this movie is much more successful than the back half, but it's still clever enough to recommend.

3 VIP backstage passes out of 5

SPLIT [2017]

Director M. Night Shyamalan gives his long-time fans more than a few reasons to get giddy with his latest creepy suspense-thriller Split.
James McAvoy is an absolute joy to watch as a man with 23 different personalities that kidnaps a trio of teenage girls who all fear the threatening arrival of the 24th personality.
It's a joy to see Shyamalan finally return to making highly entertaining nail-biting b-movies filled with ominous dread and devilishly moody atmosphere.  The VVitch's Anya Taylor-Joy puts on a great performance opposite McAvoy's deliciously sadistic roles, all of which are just as strong as the last one.  Without it's two leads the absurdly campy script might not have held up as much as it does but if you're in it for the pure fun of it all then it does not disappoint.

3 frightening dance parties out of 5

THE VISIT [2015]

Remember as a kid while visiting the grandparent's house overnight you'd hear weird sounds from around their scary old person home?
Director M. Night Shyamalan takes that creepy grandparents concept and runs wild with it in The Visit, his first journey into the found footage thriller genre.
After a good decade or so of cinematic failures, it's nice to see M. Night get his shit somewhat together with this absurdly silly yet amusing spin on The Grimm's Fairytales.  The scares will cause more nervous laughter than genuine frights but that's part of it's sinister charm.  It's not quite up to par with The Sixth Sense but it's certainly no After Earth, so maybe we can begin thinking about forgiving the director for harming our braincells for ever so long.

3 diaper facials out of 5

AFTER EARTH [2013]

One of the greatest mysteries of the world is why do we keep giving director M. Night Shyamalan copious amounts of cash to make these shitty, shitty films?
After Earth is a duller than dull sci-fi starring Will & Jaden Smith as a father & son that crash land on a Earth, years after it's been abandoned by human beings due to an deadly alien race inhabiting the planet.  The acting goes from decent to abysmal, the dialogue & direction flatline and the Scientology elements buried in the context couldn't be more obvious.  
...and those accents?  What the feck was up with those accents?  Feck.

1 warm spots out of 5

THE LAST AIRBENDER [2010]

After a slew of box office flops that were critically panned as well, it makes me wonder how writer/director M. Night Shyamalan ever got the gig of adapting the Nickelodeon cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender into a big budget feature film.

You would have thought the producers would have at least watched over the entire production making sure Shyamalan doesn't fuck up.  Apparently they didn't, because did he ever fuck up.  

He void the story of any sort of soul, personality or fun.  Instead it's a boring, yet flashy, mess that's riddled with horrible acting and dialogue.  

1 I fell asleep for 20 minutes....did I miss anything good? out of 5

THE HAPPENING [2008]

M. Night Shyamalan's crafted some well-made B-movies since The Sixth Sense but it wasn't until The Happening that the "joke" wore off.

The viewer is assaulted with bad acting, writing, direction and so many bad bumps and flaws in the pacing it's embarrassing.  It might have greatly benefited from not being so quick to reveal itself and an ensemble cast to give it more of a "bad disaster" flick but instead we're only left to give a rat's ass about Mark Wahlberg & Zooey Deschanel.   Fuck that.  They're about as fun as watching a tree grow and do scary tree stuff....whic really isn't that scary.

1 watch out for that plant! out of 5

LADY IN THE WATER [2006]

M. Night Shyamalan's "bedtime story" Lady In The Water is a universally panned film that I find hard not liking.  

Sure it's got an uneven plot, questionable dialogue and terribly written characters, but the mood, performances and music are great.  Shyamalan had balls to make a film like this when the big thing in mainstream cinema were manboy superheros and boy wizards.  It's nothing more than wide-eyed storytelling that serves it's purpose in entertainment.

3 giant fap-arms out of 5

THE VILLAGE [2004]

M. Night Shyamalan knows how to create creepy moods and atmosphere with great effect and that's pretty much what saves The Village from being a complete disaster.

It has moments of strained and awkward dialogue, silly plot elements that are handled poorly and an "surprise" ending that I saw coming from about 20 minutes into the film.  However the photography, music and performances are wonderful and make it all the worthwhile.

3 bright red bad out of 5

SIGNS [2002]

Writer/director M. Night Shyamalan lightens up a bit with a heavy dose of skittish paranoid humor in the alien invasion thriller Signs.

With some interesting camera work, enjoyable performances, startling moments and fantastic music, Signs is a joy to watch even if it does slap you in the ass with some groan worthy moments.   It doesn't leave enough to the imagination to make it fully effective as the perfect blend of humor and thrills that it tries to be.  

3 tinfoil hats out of 5

UNBREAKABLE [2000]

Strange things always seem to occur to people that never smile in mysterious thrillers written & directed by M. Night Shyamalan.  

Unbreakable is a quiet and moody ode to comic books that reunites Bruce Willis & Samuel L. Jackson for a third time.  It takes us through a murky, dreary analogy of comic books and the real world...or at least the real world that is Shyamalan's imagination.  Set up like an origin story for a super-hero it makes you wonder what other stories any potential sequels would explore.  It might not be as tightly wound or paced as The Sixth Sense but it's probably my favorite of Shyamalan's films.

4 bright colors are always Bad News Bears out of 5

THE SIXTH SENSE [1999]

Writer/director M. Night Shyamalan's knack for telling creepy bedtime stories has become somewhat of a joke as of lately but that doesn't take anything away from the power that is The Sixth Sense.

This creepy and heartbreaking ghost story (as all ghost stories should be) about the need for communication serves the scares a plenty all the while grounding it with just the right amount of heart.  Shyamalan lays on the atmosphere something fierce with his beautiful, yet dismal, photography, keen sense of space & lack of and the command of excellent performances, particularly Toni Collette.

Years later and this film still sends chills down the spine while tugging at the heartstrings.  

5 shades of red out of 5