THE TWILIGHT SAGA - BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 [2011]

Candyman II's Bill Condon takes an embarrassed seat in the director's chair for the first part of the film adaptation of the final Twilight book, Breaking Dawn: Part 1.
There's nothing bad I can say about this film that hasn't been said before.  45 LONG minutes of nothing but wedding & honeymoon with a few short lines of dialgoue to shove the plot even a bit forward.  I understand this is a romance but even romance can benefit from maybe even a little of advancement in the narrative.  You've been warned.

2 broken beds out of 5

THE LAST AIRBENDER [2010]

After a slew of box office flops that were critically panned as well, it makes me wonder how writer/director M. Night Shyamalan ever got the gig of adapting the Nickelodeon cartoon Avatar: The Last Airbender into a big budget feature film.

You would have thought the producers would have at least watched over the entire production making sure Shyamalan doesn't fuck up.  Apparently they didn't, because did he ever fuck up.  

He void the story of any sort of soul, personality or fun.  Instead it's a boring, yet flashy, mess that's riddled with horrible acting and dialogue.  

1 I fell asleep for 20 minutes....did I miss anything good? out of 5

DREAD [2009]

I've come to expect disappointment when it came to adaptations of Clive Barker's Books Of Blood short stories.  So Dread was a surprisingly more pleasant experience than the others.

Three college students study the fear of others for a school project and it gets deadly serious and that's about it.  The film begins to drag for a bit but it quickly picks up speed when it gets back on track with Barker's original intentions.  A little miscast, poorly directed and all around bumpy, Dread isn't as awful as the other BOB films but it's not as great as it could be.

2½ confusingly sexy birthmarks out of 5