A Big Bold Beautiful Journey (2025)

A whimsical romantic fantasy about two beautiful people who can't find love (that old chestnut). Through the help of a car rental agency and a magical GPS, they go on an uncharted journey filled with doorways to the past where they revisit past traumas and other pivotal moments of life that prevent them from moving on. It's predictable and not all as fun as it could be given the concept, but worth watching if you want to get out of your own head for awhile. If life is this difficult for the privileged, then what chance do the rest of us have?

3 fast food cheeseburgers out of 5

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST [2017]

Twilight: Breaking Dawn director Bill Condon faithfully adapts Disney's animated classic Beauty and the Beast into a live-action musical.
The story of a young woman who falls in love with a monstrous fella that lives within a magical castle keeps Alan Menken & Howard Ashman's iconic songs firmly intact much to the pleasure of fans of the original film.  However heavily auto-tuned Emma Watson's flat-lining performance is far too dull to equal the strength of her character's beliefs.  Dan Stevens does his best as the Beast underneath a heavy layer of poorly rendered CGI fur but it's simply never enough to ignore it's artificial look.  Thankfully Luke Evans & Josh Gad are entertaining bad-boy scene-stealers, while Ewan McGregor & Emma Thompson's voice-work an absolute delight.  For an extravagant musical the camerawork is an absolute bore that never quite elevates the film to majesty it should have been.  Close but no cigar.

2½ really annoying singing wardrobes out of 5

A FISH CALLED WANDA [1988]

When people talk about great comedies of the '80's they always seem to forget director Charles Crichton's final film, the British crime caper A Fish Called Wanda.
Co-written by Monty Python's John Cleese, the film starts out pretty slow but once the ball starts rolling it snowballs into a classic situation comedy of lies & deceit with the perfect mixture of British and American humor.  It tosses morals out the window and attempts to do nothing but aim for the funny bone and succeeds with it's four main stars all playing their roles with comedic perfection.

4 doomed dogs out of 5 

No Strings Attached (2011)

Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman get together in the end. Oh, you say? Did I just give away the whole movie? The beautiful male and female leads get together in the end? What a novel fucking concept. Despite its attempts to be "charming" and "hip" and "raunchy," I just found the whole thing annoying and repugnant. Kevin Kline's performance is probably the stand-out of it all, and that's not saying much. The only thing that makes it watchable at all is Natalie Portman's ass, but I hate her for even being in this type of movie.

1 FML out of 5