Jay Kelly (2025)

Clooney plays a successful actor (wink wink) going through an existential crisis, who takes an impromptu trip to Europe, while his entourage follows him wherever he goes. It's a very "inside baseball" look at the entertainment industry, occasionally meandering and self-indulgent, but performances are strong and it's easy to get caught up in the glitz. It didn't quite work its magic on me, but it's a solid effort and an examination of a life lived good enough.

3 slices of cheesecake out of 5

Barbie (2023)

There's no way to defend this. I fucking loved it. Who knew a movie about a toy with tits could be this poignant, existential and moving, all in one? Barbie becomes self-aware and travels out of her fantasy bubble into the real world, where she's confronted with the realities of being a woman. On the flipside, Ken realizes he's been a slave to Barbie all his life and achieves a form of self-actualization without the need for external validation. Cynics may call it feminist propaganda, but it's riotously funny with tremendous heart, and tells a story that kids ought to hear while their brains are still soft and malleable.

I cried like a bitch and I'm man enough to admit it.

4½ beach-offs out of 5

White Noise (2022)

Adapted from the 1985 "unfilmable" novel about a cataclysmic chemical disaster that befalls a small town and causes unexpected consequences within a family. I had high hopes for this, but it disappointed me on many fronts. It was just too long and aimless and I stopped caring by the end. There is an air of mystery throughout that makes it kind of frustrating to sit through if you're expecting any kind of concrete results. I fully understand the anxiety and the sense of impending doom, but it didn't come together in any satisfying way for me, and as an absurdist comedy piece, it doesn't make many strides to make a whole lot of sense. I can't help but think that a different filmmaker could have made this material a bit more exciting rather than the banality on display here, but maybe I'm missing the point. It seems like this movie thought too highly of itself and it left me feeling cold and indifferent. This should have been a lot better than it was, but there are several moments that live in my head rent-free, so I'd say it's partially a rousing success. The fact that I've devoted so much grey matter to all this white noise has to count for something, right?

2½ supermarket waltzes out of 5

20TH CENTURY WOMEN [2016]

Director Mike Mills' third feature length 20th Century Women continues his firm understanding of lost souls amongst the ones they love.
Set in 1979 Southern California, the film tells of a teenage boy, influenced mostly by his single mother and two other females as the world around them is rapidly going through some significant cultural and social changes.
This funny and moving bittersweet ode to Mills' mother is never too heavy-handed but carries enough weight to become heavily invested within the tale of time flashing before one's eyes.  Poignantly perceptive from the eyes of both sexes the film never chooses sides and rather helps us understand and respect both man and woman, young and old.  The casting is pitch-perfect as each actor works with one another with a special type of chemistry most films yearn for.  It's a simple story but it's told with such grace and intimacy you can't help but become enthralled with it.

4 fights about clitoral stimulation out of 5

MISTRESS AMERICA [2015]

Director Noah Baumbach continues his humorous exploration of the pros & cons of age differences in the irresistibly enduring character piece Mistress America.
Two young women, one 30 the other 20, who are about to become step-sisters, meet up for the first time in Times Square and find they have as much in common as they don't.
Being co-written by Greta Gerwig makes sure Baumbach doesn't get as cynical as he usually is and makes for a more well-rounded realism that is both funny, smart, observant and confident in it's vulnerabilities.  It manages to keep a smirk on your face for the the first two acts but once it hits the third act it becomes a riot, almost like a rapid-fire stageplay of Fawlty Towers proportions.
The characters all have their flaws, as does the film but that's one of it's strongest points is amidst all it's problems, issues and annoyances, a friend is something you can't help but cherish.

4 stolen cats out of 5

FRANCES HA [2013]

Noah Baumbach directs the irresistibly sweet Greta Gerwig (who also co-writes) in the black & white mumblecore dramedy Frances Ha.
Most will find the film wanders arounds aimlessly not really up to much but senseless conversation but with a bit of patience you'll find a delicate eye and feel for direction Baumbach and a insanely realistic reckless yet sympathetic character played by Gerwig.  Most films these days about a young women living in New York will portray the character as whiny and hopelessly lost in life.  Frances Halladay knows she's got problems but instead makes the best of what she has and subtly grasps onto what little she can.  The film is filled with the slightest nuances that make the story and character so much more compelling the impatient eye will ever catch.

4 two day vacations out of 5

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL [2009]

Director Ti West's homage to the horror films of the 70's & 80's, The House Of The Devil is a deliciously entertaining ride.

West utilizes filming techniques & equipment of the era to really give it that kitschy feel, which is wonderfully effective and boisterously campy.  It's nice to see a horror film go with the slow-burning effect rather than jump right into the bloody carnage, which makes for a delightfully evil pay-off when it finally does happen. I'm constantly finding West knows how a film should be shot & lit in the most interesting, yet non-distracting manners.  It's a bizarre, enjoyable film that is sure to please longtime horror film fans looking for one that is done right.

3½ lunar eclipses out of 5

No Strings Attached (2011)

Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman get together in the end. Oh, you say? Did I just give away the whole movie? The beautiful male and female leads get together in the end? What a novel fucking concept. Despite its attempts to be "charming" and "hip" and "raunchy," I just found the whole thing annoying and repugnant. Kevin Kline's performance is probably the stand-out of it all, and that's not saying much. The only thing that makes it watchable at all is Natalie Portman's ass, but I hate her for even being in this type of movie.

1 FML out of 5

ARTHUR [2011]

Russell Brand assumes the role of Arthur role that was originally played by Dudley Moore.

Helen Mirren steals the show as the surprisingly deeply woven and in depth character of Arthur's nanny, Hobson.

It never really rises to the occasion but a few good guffaws and performances from Brand, Mirren and the incredibly sweet Greta Gerwig make it worth the time you invest in this lackluster comedy.

2 Batmobiles out of 5