Stream (2024)

It's always charming watching a shitty low-budget slasher film on the big screen (a one-night only event!). As an old school horror fan, I found it enjoyable for the B-list cameos alone. 

From the producers of the Terrifier series comes this schlockfest about residents of a hotel under attack, all the while being livestreamed out to the world (think Hostel). Jeffrey Combs is always a manic delight, although it looks like he's slowly transforming into Ed Wood or John Waters at this point. The kills in this movie are gory and tongue-in-cheek (playing Tic-Tac-Toe on a dude's torso was a highlight). Also, nothing makes me happier than seeing gratuitous nudity in a movie theater! So it worked for me on a certain level, though I'm fairly sure I enjoyed it 100% more than I would have streaming it at home.

2 split-screens out of 5

Cujo (1983)

In a world before mobile/cell phones, a family-friendly St. Bernard turns rabid and terrorizes the guilty and the innocent alike.
It would be a terrifying ordeal for the people involved, but it never quite reaches those peaks for the viewer, unless you have a real fear of dogs and see every canine as a potential slobbering killer.
Alongside the dog’s descent into madness is the story of a married couple’s descent into potential break up. They have a young son (Danny Pintauro) who looks genuinely shit-scared when the dog attacks.
It's not a film that will take pride of place on a King fan's shelf, but it's unlikely they'll feel the need to hide it along with a few of the others.

2 strings of doggy-drool out of 5

Critters (1986)

Of the shovel-load of horror B-Movies that appeared during the 80’s, Critters was one of the more entertaining ones. It still is.
It’s a sci-fi/horror hybrid with some accidental laughs and some purposeful laughs. The creatures are like vicious little bastard cousins of the Gremlins. They wreak havoc, as you’d expect, but what makes the film work so well is that the family is at the heart of it. The bitey things don’t kill off screaming, sex-crazed teenagers one by one, they threaten something important, something worth fighting for.

3 furry balls out of 5

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL [2009]

Director Ti West's homage to the horror films of the 70's & 80's, The House Of The Devil is a deliciously entertaining ride.

West utilizes filming techniques & equipment of the era to really give it that kitschy feel, which is wonderfully effective and boisterously campy.  It's nice to see a horror film go with the slow-burning effect rather than jump right into the bloody carnage, which makes for a delightfully evil pay-off when it finally does happen. I'm constantly finding West knows how a film should be shot & lit in the most interesting, yet non-distracting manners.  It's a bizarre, enjoyable film that is sure to please longtime horror film fans looking for one that is done right.

3½ lunar eclipses out of 5

THE FRIGHTENERS [1996]

Lord Of The Rings director Peter Jackson's first dip into mainstream film-making is an odd one that makes me wonder how he ever got the job of directing the Middle Earth films.
1996's The Frighteners is a horror-comedy that is disturbing as it is funny. It's entertaining and well-paced in it's theatrical cut but the director's cut slows the pace down and throws in some face-palming gags that dumbs it down.
If you're looking for a fun big budget Jackson film but still in the same vein as his earlier independent works than this would be it.

3½ heavenly creatures out of 5

The Howling (1981)

News anchor woman suffers a trauma and is given a leave of absence at a colony resort where all sorts of strange stuff happens. Something to do with shapeshifting creatures…hmmm. Kind of dull in some places, but that ending cements it as a classic. This one inspired a shitload of sequels and I’ve seen every single one of them (except the latest that came out a couple weeks ago) and they all suck, or blow, or whatever (silver bullet?).

3.5 adult arcades out of 5