The Mean One (2022)

What if the Grinch went in the other direction, and instead of being accepted and knowing love, he ends up turning into a homicidal maniac who tortures the residents of Whoville Newville? This unofficial entry in the "Grinch" series (never once mentioned by name) is a low-budget pile of dreck starring David Howard Thornton (Terrifier) as the eponymous "green humanoid creature." There is absolutely no redeeming value to it, except to say that you survived watching it. It looks ugly, it's neither funny nor scary, and worst yet, it's just plain boring. Thornton is perfectly capable of inhabiting the Jim Carrey-esque physicality of the character, but he's given nothing interesting to do here. Somehow Cindy You-Know-Who ends up being the more interesting character.

½ an enlarged heart out of 5

Stream (2024)

It's always charming watching a shitty low-budget slasher film on the big screen (a one-night only event!). As an old school horror fan, I found it enjoyable for the B-list cameos alone. 

From the producers of the Terrifier series comes this schlockfest about residents of a hotel under attack, all the while being livestreamed out to the world (think Hostel). Jeffrey Combs is always a manic delight, although it looks like he's slowly transforming into Ed Wood or John Waters at this point. The kills in this movie are gory and tongue-in-cheek (playing Tic-Tac-Toe on a dude's torso was a highlight). Also, nothing makes me happier than seeing gratuitous nudity in a movie theater! So it worked for me on a certain level, though I'm fairly sure I enjoyed it 100% more than I would have streaming it at home.

2 split-screens out of 5

Terrifier 3 (2024)

Disappointment is the name of the game. This sequel jumps ahead five years and returns it closer to the gritty roots of the first film. Art moves on from Halloween and ruins yet another holiday. It ignores a lot of the pre-established mythos of the previous entry and doesn't push the story into any bold or exciting new directions. It's a noticeable drop down in quality, and the viewer suffers for it. There's a very fine line between slashers being fun, and being derivative and boring. Unfortunately, this series feels like it's spinning its wheels at this point. Worry not, though; Terrifier 4 is in development now! They will milk this franchise for all it's worth, just like the best/worst of them.

Oh well...it's more of the same if you enjoyed the others.

2½ rats in a tube out of 5

Terrifier 2 (2022)

Picking up directly after the events of Terrifier, we are introduced to a new badass contender against the evil, as well as establishing a mythology behind its supernatural origins. This installment ratchets up the laughs and opts for a broader horror-comedy approach, which works to its benefit and elevates it above its predecessors. David Howard Thornton instills Art the Clown with a heavy dose of physical humor, almost as if Freddy Krueger were being played by Jim Carrey. Since the character does not utter a word, he's actually more of a mime than a clown, which honestly sounds scarier to me.

This movie is fun precisely if you're a fan of the slasher genre which it so liberally borrows from. It perfectly encapsulates that '80s aesthetic and manages to pull it off with enough style and flair to stand on its own, and it's done with practical make-up, gore effects and a moody synth score which set the stage for gleeful brutality.

I won't mince words. This movie is fucking awesome. Though you definitely have to be in right frame of mind to appreciate it as such.

3½ candy head bowls out of 5

Terrifier (2016)

On Halloween, two women are stalked by a murderous clown on a rampage in this brutal and uncompromising thriller heavily inspired by the '70s and '80s slasher genre. I should clarify that this is not a very "fun" horror movie per se, as effective as it might be. It takes on a more sadistic and grisly approach, as well as a throwback to the ultra-violent grindhouse style of filmmaking. Some of the brutality goes on for an uncomfortably graphic amount of time, refusing to give the audience any sort of respite. Regardless, it sticks in the back of your mind and establishes Art the Clown as a formidable supernatural horror villain with a lack of moral conscience or a soul, on the level of Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers, while staking his own claim in slasher history. This film has no socially redeeming values whatsoever; it's basically just an excuse to torture its victims for 85 minutes. If you go into it with that mindset, you'll find it a much more agreeable affair. It's the stark simplicity and bleakness of this vision that makes it so damn effective and true to its name.

3 vivisections out of 5