Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

As far as great comedies go, Ace sits at the top of the heap. Jim Carrey had an incredible string of hits in the 1990s, from his stint on sketch comedy series In Living Color to The Mask, Dumb & Dumber, and many more, but his first major studio hit is still as funny as it was 30 years ago. This shit is over the top, weird and audacious, but so singular in its stupidity that it transcends further critical analysis. Maybe you just have to be totally puerile to get on its wavelength. 

This is one of those films that has been deemed "offensive" in recent years, as changing mores don't allow you to poke fun at certain topics anymore. Yawn.

4 Alrighty Thens! out of 5

Fatal Instinct (1993)

Carl Reiner's pastiche of 1940s film noir and the erotic thriller genre smashes together spoofs of Double Indemnity, Body Heat, Cape Fear, Sleeping with the Enemy, Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct. A lot of the reason this works for me is because Armand Assante completely commits to the bit as a completely oblivious buffoon (he plays both a cop and a lawyer here). As with all parodies, it's exhausting if you're not in a receptive mood, but at just under 90 minutes, these films tend not to overstay their welcome. While some of the gags are hysterical, it seems to work better in smaller doses, and it's a bit uneven as a whole. This type of genre has to take big swings, even when it's batting 1 for 2.

2½ traumatized skunks out of 5

BONE TOMAHAWK [2015]

S. Craig Zahler (known mostly as the writer of the craptastic Asylum Blackout) makes his directorial debut with the western/horror hybrid Bone Tomahawk.
Four not very prepared Wild West cowboys set out to save some folks from a pack of native cannibals hidden in the caves of the desert.
Greeted with multiple rave reviews, I was pretty excited about this odd little film and was met with immense disappointment.  It was fortunate enough to have a particularly strong cast but they have a painfully dull script to work with that will put you to sleep with it's boring dialogue sprinkled with only a few brief moments of cheeky wit.  Each character has a few short moments of interest but otherwise come off as sloppily boring, which is odd considering the 2 hour plus running time of the film.  There was something quite hilariously and disgustingly entertaining lost in this tedious genre mash-up that doesn't quite rise to the occasion.

2½ skull-splitters out of 5

Dune: Special TV Edition (1988)

A 176 min (PAL) version of Dune!? Holy Reverend Mother’s undies! It’s… it’s… Alan Smithee? It’s 4:3 Pan + Scan and it’s in mono. Bastards!
On the plus side there are alternate edits, angles and footage that was missing from the shorter 137 min theatrical cut. There’s an extended prologue providing a lot more back-story than before via V/O and a series of painted images filmed with a rostrum camera; I have mixed feelings about that part.
The inclusion of an original film poster reproduction is appealing, but hardly enough to entice all but the most obsessive Dune fan. If you identify with that classification then seek it out because the new scenes are fascinating. The 4:3 presentation, however, means it scores badly. If only it had been in 2.35:1.

2½ eyes turned to Arrakis out of 5

BLADE RUNNER [1982]

Film noir usually consists of the cynical detective, the femme fatale, a vast array of deadly thugs, corrupt policemen, endless rain and in Philip K. Dick's Blade Runner, android owls.

On & off director Ridley Scott's brilliant adaptation of the gritty sci-fi noir novel is essential viewing for space nerds and film buffs alike.  Having been tinkered with several times over the past 30 years, Blade Runner is made nearly perfect in every way in The Final Cut.  Sure the characters are still a bit boring but the story, setting, atmosphere, sets and photography make up for it with flying colors.

It's a breathtaking and believable film that still holds up strongly till this day.

5 Eyes Of Providence of 5

Dune (1984)

Scratchy sand, suits with piss in the thighs, giant phallic worms, quasi-religious nonsense and a floating fat man. I love Dune.
It’s a mess that requires you to have a deep knowledge of the book that it’s based on to understand it. You’ll need to be able to fill in the blanks to have even a hope of defending it to the haters. There's some dodgy casting and some inspired casting, and the music is hero music at its finest. One thing is certain: the sets are some of the best you’ll find in an 80’s sci-fi film.

4 litanies against fear out of 5