There's Something About Mary (1998)

Poor lovestruck loser Ted (Ben Stiller) never got over the girl of his dreams after an incident in his youth left him scarred. Years later, he hires a shady investigator to track her down and that's when matters get complicated.

This remains one of my most memorable theater experiences. Full of broad belly laughs, you hardly ever see this type of "swing for the fences" comedy anymore. It's refreshing to visit all these years later because it still has the same effect on me. It's the perfect marriage between gross-out humor and heart that really sticks the landing and cements it as a modern comedy classic.

4½ squirts of hair gel out of 5

Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

The Farrelly Brothers' uproarious comedy about a Rhode Island state trooper with "Jekyll & Hyde" split personality disorder is criminally underrated and vulgar to the extreme. I remember watching this in theaters on opening day and people rolling in the aisles and that's what stays with me the most. Good times. Along with Dumb & Dumber, the Farrellys gift us one of Jim Carrey's funniest performances, and the subtle way he's able to "switch" from Charlie to Hank never fails to delight me. Like The Mask, it's extreme wish fulfillment, especially if you have a hair trigger and ever wanted to go off on people.

4 cocks up the ass out of 5

SPOTLIGHT [2015]

Tom McCarthy was well on his way to becoming one of my favorite film directors but then The Cobbler dropped out of his ass and all that blew to hell.
Fortunately he redeems himself with the biographical drama Spotlight.
Based on the 2001 true story of a group of Boston Globe investigative reporters who struggle to expose a massively buried series of child sex abuse scandals, spanning across decades, within the local Catholic priest community.
It's impressive ensemble cast are fully committed to allowing the story speak for itself making it all the more engrossing with unglamorous believability.  Quite often films like this seem to bury themselves in holier-than-thou self-gratification but Spotlight is just as interested in honest journalism as it is solid story-telling.  It's an engrossing testament to why we can't forget about the blood, sweat & tears put into disappearing newsprint journalism in the digital age of social media.

3½ missing documents out of 5

BONE TOMAHAWK [2015]

S. Craig Zahler (known mostly as the writer of the craptastic Asylum Blackout) makes his directorial debut with the western/horror hybrid Bone Tomahawk.
Four not very prepared Wild West cowboys set out to save some folks from a pack of native cannibals hidden in the caves of the desert.
Greeted with multiple rave reviews, I was pretty excited about this odd little film and was met with immense disappointment.  It was fortunate enough to have a particularly strong cast but they have a painfully dull script to work with that will put you to sleep with it's boring dialogue sprinkled with only a few brief moments of cheeky wit.  Each character has a few short moments of interest but otherwise come off as sloppily boring, which is odd considering the 2 hour plus running time of the film.  There was something quite hilariously and disgustingly entertaining lost in this tedious genre mash-up that doesn't quite rise to the occasion.

2½ skull-splitters out of 5

Burn After Reading (2008)

Clooney does his best work with the Coen brothers; Burn was their third collaboration. He and most everyone else experience some kind of crisis as they attempt to make the best of what middle age has dealt them. Brad does his geek thing, but the highlight, for me at least, is Malkovich’s pissed-off casualty of bureaucracy who spends a large part of the film repeating the same phrase over and over. The CIA are also involved, somehow.

3½ kinds of secret shit out of 5

JACK REACHER [2012]

5' 7" actor Tom Cruise plays 6'5" title character Jack Reacher in Chris McQuarrie's adaptation of Lee Child's 9th Reacher novel One Shot.
The novel has a nihilistic gritty noir feel to it that is almost completely lost in the film, instead making Cruise look like some sort of moody white knight.  Although Cruise is effective and quite believable as a trained ass-kicker it's his embarrassing ego that gets in the way.  Who does this guy think he is?  The duller than dull script is atrociously forced and seems like Little Man Scientology rewrote it himself with something to prove and just came off as a conceded schmuck.  

1 parking meter out of 5

KILLING THEM SOFTLY [2012]

Director Andrew Dominik reteams with Brad Pitt for Killing Them Softly, a screen adaptation of George V. Higgins' crime novel Cogan's Trade.

Dominik uses dry, dark humour and bleak, brutal violence to do a intricate character study wrapped around American political allegories that is stylish, absorbing and well-acted.  All that aside, it never completely comes full circle and leaves a bit to be desired once the credits start rolling.  

3½ businesses (not countries) out of 5

THE VISITOR [2008]

Much like Thomas McCarthy's previous film, The Station Agent, The Visitor sneaks up on you, then floors you with it's thoughtful and emotional impact.

The story focuses on a lonely man who is introduced to the world of playing music at a late age and then the horrors of racial identity in a post-911 New York.

Richard Jenkins and Hiam Abass give in absolutely compelling performances that demand recognition.  It follows an obvious formula but McCarthy has a knack for evading all the cliches along the way and never comes off as phony schmaltz.

4 kick ass jam sessions out of 5

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS [2012]

Director Drew Goddard of Buffy The Vampire Slayer & LOST teams up with co-writer Joss Whedon to craft a mighty fine horror film that dissects the genre and turns it on it's head over and over again.
The Cabin In The Woods is a fast-paced, hilariously gory film that will please horror movie buffs and Whedon/Goddard fans alike. It starts out like a run of the mill "kids in the scary woods" story but quickly takes a turn into something much smarter and twisted then the you could imagine. It tips it's hat to almost every type of horror film you can think of with the same type of humor and self-awareness of Scream. I can't say much more without ruining anything.
If you're a fan of the genre I can assure you, it will not disappoint.

4 Speakerphone hating crazies out of 5

The Rum Diary (2011)

Johnny Depp more or less inhabits his Fear and Loathing role (this time with alcohol) in yet another adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson's works. He plays a struggling writer fresh in Puerto Rico trying to save a newspaper company. It's certainly more cohesive than the former role, but somehow the movie only feels half-finished. I don't know. There are some charming character moments, but for the most part I say "pass the rum."

2 hermaphroditic oracles of the dead out of 5

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS [2011]

Anne Hathaway and Jake Gylle--no.....Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Po--....ahh! Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake pull off some entertaining performances in this tightly wound little rom-com.
It does everything you expect it to but like Scream and Kick-Ass, the characters seem to know they're in a genre film and make a point of the following "rules". The two leads are fun to watch and likable enough but it's the supporting characters played by Woody Harrelson, Patricia Clarkson and Richard Jenkins that are an absolute delight. It's filled with a load of cameos, including a hilarious spot by a well-known Olympic Gold medalist, that keeps the film from getting too ho-hum.

2 ½ Pantless Fathers out of 5