Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026)

Following the big spoiler at the end of No Way Home, Peter Parker is going through some pretty dramatic ch-ch-ch-changes. Meanwhile, he faces off against a powerful adversary who appears to be able to jump into different human hosts at will. It's your traditional comic book story involving heroes struggling to fulfill their purpose while overcoming great adversity, except this time everyone is firing on all cylinders (Punisher included). As always, humanity defines these characters, and at the heart of it, it's a warm, gentle story. I have nothing cynical to add. This is just a great Spider-Man adventure.

4 premature webshots out of 5

Note: Next up for our crew? Avengers: Doomsday, in time for Christmas 2026.

Shelby Oaks (2024)

Half found footage, half traditional film, a woman goes on the search for her missing sister who had disappeared in the town of Shelby Oaks 12 years prior. Through studying the tapes that were left behind, she attempts to solve the mystery of what really happened. This film is an exercise in patience, but I enjoy how it unfolds. It may be just another Blair Witch horror clone, but it offers some solid thrills, even though it doesn't quite materialize in the end.

2½ window cracks out of 5

There's Something About Mary (1998)

Poor lovestruck loser Ted (Ben Stiller) never got over the girl of his dreams after an incident in his youth left him scarred. Years later, he hires a shady investigator to track her down and that's when matters get complicated.

This remains one of my most memorable theater experiences. Full of broad belly laughs, you hardly ever see this type of "swing for the fences" comedy anymore. It's refreshing to visit all these years later because it still has the same effect on me. It's the perfect marriage between gross-out humor and heart that really sticks the landing and cements it as a modern comedy classic.

5 squirts of hair gel out of 5

Mufasa: The Lion King (2024)

What to do after you've already remade the movie and want to bleed more money out of the IP? You make a prequel! Mufasa, the original King of the Pride Lands (and father to Simba), gets his own backstory and of course all it does is succeed in undermining the original film. We've been down this road before. It plods along like a dull roar, with original songs from Lin-Manuel to help keep the action moving. I found it a bit too sycophantic and strangely politically motivated, although it ultimately managed to win me over (but just barely).

2½ Milele out of 5

THE NICE GUYS [2016]

Director Shane Black makes amusingly good use of the R-rating in the pulpy screwball buddy-action flick The Nice Guys.
Set in a sleazy 1970's L.A., two bumbling P.I's investigate the murders of multiple porn stars and constantly fuck-up along the way, sometimes for the better, missing teeth or not.
Black is at his best when his main characters are constantly bantering against each other and here we have Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling having the time of their lives trading insults, punches and bullets.  Amongst it's broken noses, dislocated shoulders and piles of bloody somethings, is some misdirected heart that glues it all together with hidden delicacy.
With it's sharp-witted dialogue, hilarious brisk-pacing and wonderful casting chemistry, The Nice Guys prances around it's genre's clichés with drunken glee.

4 "dead" protesters out of 5

Clockers (1995)

A story of crime, drugs and brotherly love in a Brooklyn housing project, a place where doing the right thing isn't always an option.
Spike (Mekhi Phifer) is a youth whose life could still go either way. On one side he has Keith David as a tough cop willing to fight to keep him on the straight and narrow. On the other is Delroy Lindo's criminal influence, which comes with the lure of money. Complicating matters further is Harvey Keitel and his violent buddies in the homicide division investigating a murder that Spike may know something about. The 'brotherly love' side of things comes from Isaiah Washington, who gets less time on-screen than the others but leaves an equally powerful dent in the viewer's sympathies.

4 stains on the sidewalk out of 5

Barbershop (2002)

With the shop being a microcosmic meeting point for staff and customers, each with their own troubles, I was reminded of Desmond's (1989-94) more than once, but that's okay because I liked Desmond's.
When it opts for full comedy it uses stereotypes and goes nowhere interesting, and the reliance on an obligatory white guy to spark black concerns is old-hat. When it sticks to subtle comedy within the larger drama it fares better. The quick fire dialogue is stronger and the heart beats louder.
When your workplace grinds you down and you need reminded of what really matters in life, then you could do worse than a Barbershop visit.

3 shortcuts out of 5

Meet Monica Velour (2010)

Tobe Hulbert is in love with adult film star Monica Velour, but it’s a love with complications because the fantasy and the reality are separated by time. Tobe is in his late teens. Monica made her movies thirty years ago.
A masturbating, peeping Tom teen and a forty-nine-year-old ex-porn star have very little common ground on the surface, but MMV is an indie that grabs hold of the aphorism 'Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder' and runs headlong with it until the surface peels away to reveal hidden depths.

3 kinds of junk out of 5

CORALINE [2009]

Acclaimed stop-motion director Henry Selick brings Neil Gaiman's dark fantasy children's novel Coraline to the big screen with flourishing passion.
Beautifully designed sets & characters and wonderfully set up shots keep the eyes in complete awe as we're whisked away into a twisted Narnia In Wonderland sort of world.  Unfortunately the dull voice acting, flat dialogue and boring characters make for a rather long journey at times.  The character of Coraline is a bratty little bint, so it makes it hard to care what happens to her or anything that surrounds her life.  It pains me to say this as I am a huge fan of both Gaiman and Selick's work and was eagerly anticipating this film but in the end it feels like a bit of a misfire that needed a bit more work on the script to truly give it the heart the story deserves.

3 boring Mark Ryden paintings out of 5

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

The FF that FF fans don’t speak of isn't as bad as some say. Okay, it is, but perhaps not for the reasons I've seen many fanboys give. The story isn't the real problem; pad it out with 40+ hours of gameplay and it’d do just fine. Nor is the environmental message that many people disliked a new concept for the franchise. The real problem is the emptiness in the performances and the inability of CGI to effectively portray real human emotion. It looks pretty but the characters are just dead inside.
Interestingly, it lacks a spiky haired protagonist and there’s no sign of unwieldy phallic swords. It does have a Cid, though; or rather, a Sid.

2 opposing waves out of 5

CLOUD ATLAS [2012]

Tom Tykwer and Lana & Andy Wachowski adapt David Mitchell's sprawling sci-fi novel Cloud Atlas into a visually stunning 3 hour epic.

It takes the near impossible task of simultaneously juggling six separate stories all at once, while retaining a smooth flow in the narrative. The film is a huge challenge to anyone not willing to invest their complete attention and brain into piecing together the confusing non-linear or picking up on it's many themes but the brave ambition poured into the film can't go unnoticed.  The prosthetics are a little distracting at times and hard to believe, as is the lack of character development and spotty acting.  However by the end, I felt it to be a satisfying experience that begs 2 or 3 more viewings to fully grasp onto it. 

4 problems with "pussy" out of 5

Pitch Black (2000)

A low budget sci-fi/horror that managed to exceed its limitations by having strong characters and some interesting cinematography that was a lucky fix to unexpected weather during shooting.
Vin Diesel’s enigmatic but likeable anti-hero, supported by two strong female leads, kept me enthralled most of the time, even when it got a little silly.
A poor CGI menace could have been disastrous, but it worked because they're the secondary enemy and not the real focus.

3½ bottles of booze out of 5

Transporter 2 (2005)

The Stath returns for a sequel that’s like the first movie but kicked into a much higher gear. He hasn't time to deliver any packages this time because he’s too busy busting bad guy's heads and breaking limbs, as his honour demands. He’s unstoppable, like a cocky T1000 with five o'clock designer stubble. It has a kinetic fight scene with a hosepipe that even the great Jackie Chan would swell with pride to be a part of. Teams Stath with Jason Flemyng again which was fun to see. My only criticism is that it’s too short.

3½ crazy stunts in high heels out of 5

Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Requiem scares me; not in the traditional sense, but in a very real, unshakable, under the skin way. It has two parallel stories that overlap occasionally. Together they present an overwhelmingly suffocating experience that once seen will never be forgotten, no matter how much you may want to.
If film awards meant anything then Ellen Burstyn would have a closet full of them for her work. Stylistically, it’s Aronofsky through and through - for me that’s a good thing. Watch it.

5 refrigerators out of 5

They Live (1988)

Obey. Consume. Marry and Reproduce. Sound familiar?

Roddy Piper is the everyman who, with the help of some special glasses, stumbles onto a dark secret about the world we live in.

Carpenter made a scathing, social commentary wrapped up in an action movie bun long before Verhoven did. It's a classic B Movie that's so good I'm going to call it a B+ Movie. They Live is perfect weekend entertainment with the added bonus of being food for thought.

4 fuglies out of 5

The Thing (1982)

A team of scientists in the Antarctic, among them Kurt Russell wearing his best Bee Gees beard, encounter a parasitic extraterrestrial life form that brings a world of shit to their remote doorstep.
The Thing presents the perfect scenario for Carpenter who crafted a career making films about something outside trying to get in, and/or something inside trying to get out. It's his masterpiece and ironically his first studio production; everything prior, including Halloween (1978), were independent releases.
Roy Arbogast’s creature effects are superb, proving that CGI is the weaker, stillborn sibling. Spider-head gave me delicious nightmares as a kid.

5 bouts of icy paranoia out of 5

The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury (2004)

Pitch Black (2000) was surprisingly good. The sequel was throwaway shit; halfway through it I gave up and went out for a beer or six.
So should you bother with Dark Fury? Yes and no. If you want more Dick Riddick or, if like me, you crave more of Peter Chung's amazing work then it'll keep you happy for half an hour, because that's how long it lasts.

3 eye shine my ass out of 5