Sci-fighters (1996)

A very determined escapee from a lunar penal colony in the futuristic year 2009 (really) sets about spreading an alien infection on a freezing Earth that seems to exist in perpetual night, seeing as how the sunlight is blocked by an encompassing dust cloud. Detective Grayson (Roddy Piper) picks up the trail of the villain, with reasons beyond mere duty as his driving force.
Put simply, it's like Blade Runner (1982) mixed with Alien (1979), in more than just script. But quite often it manages to make what appears onscreen seem like it cost more to produce than it probably did, the story has a decent level of atmosphere, and Billy Drago's earnest performance is memorable.

2½ sushi dates out of 5

Jungleground (1995)

Lt. Jake Cornell gets his ass trapped in Jungleground, an isolated, lawless zone within the larger city structure. He must escape the mean streets within a set time or there’ll be consequences for more than just himself.
It takes parts of The Warriors (1979) and Escape from NY (1981) and merges them with a few new threads, neither of which are at odds with the cheesy fun times provided by the others.
Piper is a good fit to the character type needed. He's tough but sensitive and trained to see the bigger picture.
What lets it down the most is the weak villain. He’s not mean enough, nor believable in the role, being too young and handsome. He looks like he just walked off the set of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series.

3 burning cars out of 5

Marked Man (1996)

You may laugh but I've found something entertaining in each of the Roddy Piper films I’d seen prior to MM, but it was inevitable that the law of averages would catch up eventually and lay down the pain.
Most of the acting is bad, especially the women. The camerawork is shoddy at best. And the story, about a tough mechanic who has one seriously bad night and ends up a fugitive, having bolted from a prison that was easier to escape from than a phone booth, gives Roddy very little to do other than run, hide, creep and fight. It’s easy pay for the Piper.

1½ wrong places at the wrong time out of 5

Tough and Deadly (1995)

Roddy Piper and Billy Blanks had teamed up previously for the film Back in Action (1993) and here they are again back in… er… more action, but not as the same characters. Both men wear knock-off Chuck Norris Action Jeans but they work different jobs. One is a Private Investigator and the other is an ass-kicking mystery man with amnesia.
It’s a buddy movie that ticks all the cliché boxes: training montage; bar fight; pool hall fight; scene that has guy falling out of a window and landing on the roof of a car. There’s also a lot of humour, but not too much that it tips over into parody. Somehow, and I make no excuses for feeling as such, it kept me smiling throughout because Roddy is a cheesy, classy guy.

2½ roundhouse kicks out of 5

Back in Action (1993)

Roddy Piper and Billy Blanks fly flags for athletes/sportsmen turned actors. Roddy is a tough but sensitive cop that gets to wrestle once or twice. Billy has no such constraints and gets to kick and kick his way through almost the entire film while trying to rescue his asshole sister from her stupid self. I'd have let the thankless, selfish bitch go her own way but Billy's an ex-special forces brother, so it’s his duty to interfere. Even moustachioed twin thugs are no match for his fast-as-fuck footwork.
It’s a WYSIWYG action movie from start to finish imbued with just enough warmth to keep the brain from freezing over.
If you think the cover art is bad, google the alternatives. But at least the correct name is above the corresponding person each time.

2 dozen conveniently placed cardboard boxes out of 5

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)

The ‘Hell’ of the title refers to Sam Hell, a man in a post-war world run by women. The war left the majority of the population sterile, but Sam’s not filled with blanks—he has the highest spermatozoa count on record. He’s tasked with seeking out fertile women and impregnating them, for his country, of course.
Roddy Piper does what Roddy Piper does best (other than wrestling, I guess), which is being the downtrodden hero in a world that has gone to shit.

3 fucks for freedom out of 5

Immortal Combat (1994)

I'm going to hand this one over to IMDB: "Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba battle an army of immortal ninja warriors." I can’t top that. Such insight. Such brevity. Even if ‘an army’ is a gross exaggeration of the truth. It’s more like a small cluster. And the only person you could realistically class as a 'ninja' is the shuriken-throwing Chiba. But the 'immortal' part is right, surely? Well, no... kind of but not really. But let's not dwell on the semantics. The important thing is that Piper and Chiba are in it. That’s why it deserves to be on Nutshell.

2 man-perms out of 5

They Live (1988)

Obey. Consume. Marry and Reproduce. Sound familiar?

Roddy Piper is the everyman who, with the help of some special glasses, stumbles onto a dark secret about the world we live in.

Carpenter made a scathing, social commentary wrapped up in an action movie bun long before Verhoven did. It's a classic B Movie that's so good I'm going to call it a B+ Movie. They Live is perfect weekend entertainment with the added bonus of being food for thought.

4 fuglies out of 5