Sci-fighters (1996)

A very determined escapee from a lunar penal colony in the futuristic year 2009 (really) sets about spreading an alien infection on a freezing Earth that seems to exist in perpetual night, seeing as how the sunlight is blocked by an encompassing dust cloud. Detective Grayson (Roddy Piper) picks up the trail of the villain, with reasons beyond mere duty as his driving force.
Put simply, it's like Blade Runner (1982) mixed with Alien (1979), in more than just script. But quite often it manages to make what appears onscreen seem like it cost more to produce than it probably did, the story has a decent level of atmosphere, and Billy Drago's earnest performance is memorable.

2½ sushi dates out of 5

Martial Law II: Undercover (1991)

aka Karate Cop: Martial Law 2

Hardworking cop Sean Thompson (Jeff Wincott) gets promoted to Detective and soon after does some detecting that puts him in movie-danger.
It has more action but also more filler, a peculiar state of imbalance that makes it even less entertaining than the first Martial Law (1990) movie. Clichés are used frequently; they're forgivable because it's that kind of film. But the hero's man-coat shoulder pads are altogether unpardonable.
A bitch-fight (that's over seconds after it's begun!), a hulking bodyguard, and heroes that take a shit-ton of punches and kicks to the face but don't bleed are what you're in for should you progress beyond the opening credits.

2 transactions out of 5

The Untouchables (1987)

Chicago in the 1930s was a good time to be a milliner, but, as agent Eliot Ness discovered, a bad time to be an honest cop on a crusade to take down organised crime. Luckily for Ness he had Sean Connery to mentor him in the ways of usefulness like some kind of ‘Irish-American’ beat cop sensei.
I’m puzzled as to why Untouchables ends up on a lot of Best Gangster Movie lists. It has some amazing set pieces, particularly the Eisenstein reference at the train station, but the casting is questionable, the performances lack spark, the story is weak, and even Morricone dropped the ball.
De Niro as Al Capone is an exception; his character is badly written but at least he gives the gangster nuances through subtle gestures.
The problem is perhaps due to De Palma wanting a commercial hit so that he could gain freedom to pursue more personal projects. An understandable goal, but the result is wishy-washy, with not enough identity of its own.

3 baby steps out of 5

Vamp (1986)

Vamp is cult, which usually means a viewer will either love it or hate it; but, personally, I was indifferent to its mixed genre charms. The comedy didn't make me laugh and the three main characters were each bordering on being insufferable US College types. To be honest, I've never understood the appeal of frat house movies.
Nevertheless, I applaud whoever it was that decided upon the unique visual look and stuck to it (even in the sewers) when it was clearly unrealistic. The practical effects are entertaining and, amazingly, Grace Jones was a good choice for the fiend; she gives me the wiggins even without make up.

2½ meal tickets out of 5

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)

There was always an underlying Western feel to the Tremors series. Part Four takes that further by going back to 1889 for a Wild West prequel that’s as familiar as it is different. There’s a town, a small group of people, Chang’s Market and a Gummer. It’s far from perfect but the return to more rubber and less CGI was a very, very welcome one.
It’s unlikely we’ll ever get that hoped for fifth film. Hopefully that also means any attempt at a half-assed reboot is also off the cards. I'd rather a permanent end than see it turned into a typical American monster movie.

3 endeavours out of 5

EDIT: We did eventually get a fifth film! 0_0  It's HERE.