How to Make a Killing (2026)

Born out of wedlock and cheated out of a multibillion dollar inheritance, a man schemes to reclaim his birthright by currying favor and systematically getting rid of those ahead of him in the family line, while also avoiding some meddling FBI agents and an ex who is onto him. It's a fun, dark crime comedy that is easy to see where it's going for the most part, but pleasant enough in its execution.

3 funerals out of 5

Blue Moon (2025)

Ethan Hawke plays Lorenz Hart, lyricist to famous tunes such as "My Funny Valentine," "The Lady is a Tramp" and the title of this movie, on the opening night of his former partner Richard Rodgers's hit Broadway show, Oklahoma! The entire film takes place in a restaurant where Hart waxes poetic, bemoans his luck, and harps over a woman half his age. Unfortunately Hawke does such a convincing job at playing the neurotic, overbearing, snobby character that I found the entire movie insufferable and exhausting. It's like Woody Allen except without any of the humor. Also, I couldn't get over the fact that he's playing a five foot character. I kept imagining him crouching in every shot.

2 tiny freckles on her left cheek out of 5

Honey Don't! (2025)

The second in Ethan Coen's "loose" lesbian B-movie trilogy, full of murder and sex and lots of senseless violence that leads nowhere. Margaret Qualley does her best Natasha Lyonne impression as private eye Honey O'Donahue, while Aubrey Plaza plays her prospective love interest and Chris Evans portrays a polyamorous cult leader. Aside from some skin, I didn't find it very titillating. I recall feeling a similar way about Drive-Away Dolls, although at least that one had a fun MacGuffin element. It's pretty empty at the end of the day, and the more I mull on it, the less I enjoyed it. The whole thing is a mess and I'm being generous with my rating because I like the way it was shot, but that's about it.

2 fingerings out of 5

Happy Gilmore 2 (2025)

Nostalgia can be dangerous. An overreliance on the past can be a handicap. There's no reason for some things to be revived except for purely sentimental reasons. This wasn't one of them.

This film features many callbacks accompanied by old clips cribbed from the first movie to make you remember how much you enjoyed that one and desperately try to recreate those old feelings. Most of the time, it falls flat.

My other complaint is that comedies are too long nowadays. It's completely self-indulgent for this to be two hours. Clip it at 90 minutes and leave out all the fluff. It ages better that way. 

I sound like an old fuddy-duddy now. I didn't hate everything about it, I just wish it tried to do something different. For some people, same-old will be perfectly acceptable. It just feels sadder when these people are in their 50s.

1½ gratuitous cameos out of 5

Poor Things (2023)

How to condense this film into a concise summary without giving away key plot points? It's the type of film that needs to be seen to be believed, without any prior expectations set. Bella (Emma Stone, at the tip-top of her game) is a Frankenstein-like creation who wants to experience the world for herself and sets out on an epic journey of self-discovery. Yorgos is the perfect filmmaker to handle this weird, sometimes off-putting material, which is both hilarious and tragic. It's a brilliant movie and I hope I haven't said too much or too little.

5 furious jumping out of 5

Drive-Away Dolls (2024)

Two lesbians on a road trip end up on the run from the mob. I'll admit, I didn't know what I was getting into with this one, but I was in a Coen-y mood. I can now very much delineate the two halves of the brothers: Joel is responsible for the artsy stuff, like his solo Shakespeare effort (The Tragedy of MacBeth), while Ethan provides the off-the-wall comedy shenanigans (à la Raising Arizona). What we get here is very much a distilled version of this madness; quirky characters, psychedelic sequences, and a fun, offbeat soundtrack. All the pieces fit together like some sort of a fever dream. However, it didn't completely work for me. I recall this movie being described as "unabashedly horny," but I didn't find it titillating at all. The sex stuff is so over-the-top and ridiculous. Aside from the hilarious central conceit of the plot (which I won't dare spoil here), I don't think I'll remember a whole lot about it in the morning.

2½ mysterious briefcases out of 5

Kinds of Kindness (2024)

A deeply twisted absurdist tragi-horror-comedy that required two separate viewings for me to finally process my feelings about it. Essentially three separate stories, starring the same group of actors playing different roles each time, you have to search to find a common thread. The theme here being the fucked up ways people show appreciation and gratitude. At times, it might feel like weird for weirdness' sake, but sometimes that's just what you crave. If you enjoy Yorgos's previous work, this may strike the right chord within you.

4 tennis racquets out of 5

The Substance (2024)

Good Lord. 😂

Demi Moore gives the performance of her career as Elisabeth Sparkle, an aging starlet who is tipped off to a method to extend her beauty and youth indefinitely. The marketing materials did such a good job of keeping this under wraps, I won't be the one to ruin it for you. All I'll say is that this is body horror the likes of which would make Cronenberg himself nut in his pantaloons. I felt like I had to watch The Fly afterwards just for a bit of 'lighter' fare. There is no subtlety in this movie at all and it is glorious. It commanded my complete and undivided attention the whole time (and not just because of the flagrant nudity). I still have no idea how this made it into theaters, but I'm so grateful it did. It's rare these days that horror actually horrifies me.

I'll be honest, this one restored my faith in modern cinema.

4½ discreetly marked packages out of 5