Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)

The band is getting back together, save for John Belushi who passed away in 1982 and was the beating heart and soul of it. This 18 years too late sequel isn't great, but it's a lot better than I appraised it back when it was first released. Of course, it suffers from the deficit of Jake Blues, who is the main impetus for "getting the band back together" in this sequel, while John Goodman more or less fills the role of Elwood's new sidekick. The years have been kind to this film, as it's aged much better than my memory of it. It mostly serves as tribute to Belushi and all those who have fallen since, including many performers who are featured here. This film is more musical performance than actual plot, but it's frequently entertaining and just weird enough to command my attention.

3 Bluesmobiles out of 5

Revenge of the Nerds (1984)

After being forced out of their fraternity, the nerds, losers and other rejects of society quietly plot their revenge against the Alpha Beta jocks who seek to oppress them. This is pure '80s cheese and I love it. Politically incorrect to the max, and with a rockin' soundtrack, it's a true product of its time. It doesn't hold back and lives up to its name. In recent years, people have found plenty to be offended by in this movie, and all I'll say is...that's the damn point. Get over yourselves. Back in the day, this was considered our "representation." It's not meant to be taken seriously or out of context; it's an extremely unrealistic fantasy and meant to be an escape from the harsh realities of life. It's silly and doesn't take itself seriously. You shouldn't either. Let the nerds have their day.

3 panty raids out of 5

Smurfs (2025)

The little blue shits are back.

It doesn't feel good that I am once again nutting a Smurfs movie in 2025, but this is actually the fourth film (and second reboot) after the previous attempt went off the rails in 2017. Going back to basics, the little blue perverts exist blissfully unaware in Smurf Village, where their name dictates their entire personality and they are seemingly tethered to their fates from birth (this could be a good premise for a horror movie). Cue in: No Name Smurf, who is looking for his life's purpose, amongst the backdrop of a bright magical world.

The biggest draw of this one seems to be the dubious casting of Rihanna as Smurfette, which explains why this also happens to be a musical. I found the portal hopping kept my attention, even if it didn't lead anywhere worthwhile.

What's funny is that I used to be a big fan of the Smurfs as a kid, but I have no memory of why. Turns out I was just partial to the color blue.

1 Snooterpoot out of 5

Note: Another little-known fact about the Smurfs is that they all gang-bang Smurfette every single night. And she likes it. (Her nickname is Bonnie Blue.)

Frosty Returns (1992)

The animation company changes hands from Rankin/Bass to Bill Melendez Productions, which likely explains why this special feels so oddly Peanuts-esque. Something about it just doesn't work. Not sure if it's the awkward casting of John Goodman as the titular snowman, the uninspired plot or the dull song(s). This one caps off the "Frosty trilogy" beginning with Frosty the Snowman and Frosty's Winter Wonderland and it couldn't come soon enough.

2 Summer Wheezes out of 5 

The Flintstones (1994)

I occasionally watched repeats of the original Hanna-Barbera cartoon as a kid, but I don't consider myself a fan of the show. I tried the film for one reason only: Liz Taylor, who plays Pearl Slaghoople (Fred's mother-in-law); but in reference to casting it's John Goodman who's most perfect in his role.

The story sees the 'modern Stone Age family' have their loyalties tested when an unexpected class division causes a rift between best friends Fred and Barney (Rick Moranis). Its U rating means it's mostly average kids stuff, but there are some genuinely funny gags, and a few very dark humoured ones.

The star of the show for me was the props and sets — the majority of which would've had to have been built and/or moulded from scratch — and the practical creature effects provided by Jim Henson's Creature Shop.

2 dictabirds out of 5

PATRIOTS DAY [2016]

Director Peter Berg's second 2016 film based on real-life tragic events is the surprisingly good Patriots Day.
Centering the events around the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombings might be a little too fresh in everyone's mind but Berg & co. never fully exploit the facts for the sake of popcorn action.
Rather than focus too much on the terrorist plot details the film is more interested in honoring the heroes involved and how they went about their time during the 100-hour manhunt.  There's some amazingly acted & written scenes worthy of great praise, however they find themselves in the middle of some lesser scenes that feel more boringly standard to the terrorist thriller genre.  It sits on a very fragile line of exploitation and honorable tribute and that's what deter most folks from seeing the film.

3½ bad knees out of 5

10 CLOVERFIELD LANE [2016]

One of the most intriguing parts of writer/director Dan Trachtenberg's character-driven thriller 10 Cloverfield Lane is that no one knew it existed until less than 2 months before it's release.
A very distant relative of Matt Reeves' Cloverfield film, we follow the suspenseful tale of a woman who wakes up in an underground bunker, after a car crash, to find two men with her, one of who claims he's saved her from a chemical attack on the country.
The slow-burning psychological torture in such a claustrophobic setting makes for some pretty engrossing moments that open up more questions than answers with each disturbing reveal.
Trachtenberg aims for a B-movie feel that is cleverly crafted, well-acted and manages to hit all the right buttons for anyone looking for a refreshingly simple but engaging thrill-ride.

4 Slusho machines out of 5

TRUMBO [2015]

Austin Powers director Jay Roach takes a more serious approach to film with the lively biographical period-drama Trumbo.  

Bryan Cranston shines as acclaimed 1940's screenwriter Dalton Trumbo, who was famously blacklisted from Hollywood, for his communist beliefs, but continued to work and win major awards under a pseudonym.
The script has a tough time justifying itself, with so much going on it never really gives us a clear example as to why Trumbo was such a genius, unless you're already quite familiar with his work.  It's riddled with tired clichés that are all thankfully made a little more digestible with an amazing ensemble cast that is boiling over the edge with appeal.

3 grumpy tubby times out of 5

My First Mister (2001)

Angsty, alienated teen (Leelee Sobieski) finds an unlikely confidante in her middle-aged boss (Albert Brooks) in this well written coming-of-age story. Sobieski's spicy monologues are what truly sucked me in. Read like diary passages, their extreme honesty treads the line of bad taste, but they remain well in-line with the character. Brooks plays many roles, from friend, father-figure and even love interest. The odd couple's dynamic grows ever more engrossing as each influences the other, stepping over societal boundaries in the process. Unfortunately, a sad twist in the latter half slows the pacing down considerably just as things are heating up, leaving the final meaningful moments sluggish and predictable.

3½ auto-eulogies out of 5

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION [2014]

By now you know Michael Bay's Transformers movies are loud, brainless, void of any logic, flashy and REALLY REALLY long.
Age Of Extinction, the fourth film in the series ditches Sam Witwicky for the inanely dull Yeagers (played by Mark Wahlberg and the horrendous Nicola Peltz).  While the first film was really bad but somewhat entertaining, by the time you get to the 4th anything remotely fun is lost in Bay's ambition to wear the viewer out with stupidity, horrible dialogue and shiny things that growl & fart.
Flashy special effects are great for 20 minutes but nearly 3 hours of it tests one's patience as they reach for more aspirin.
I have no one to blame but myself.

1 Big Lebowski out of 5

THE MONUMENTS MEN [2014]

George Clooney directs an all-star cast in his enthusiastic war film, The Monuments Men, which tells the story of WWII platoon that set out to retrieve stolen artwork from Nazis near the tale end of the war.
The film sets out with good intentions but gets lost in a mess of humorous & serious tones that never seem to really find a favorable balance.  It's spreads it's ensemble cast of characters out too thinly and therefore we never really connect with any of them at all.  However by showing us a different reason to fight a war is what it set out to do without the cynicism & hatred and I really admire that.  A pity it's such a mess.

2 good times for a cigarette out of 5

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS [2013]

The Coen Brothers paint a dreary haze over a depressingly funny story, loosely inspired by folk singer Dave Van Ronk, with Inside Llewyn Davis.
Oscar Isaac is absolutely fabulous in the title role and with any luck he will gain the acclaim he's deserved for years.  Isaac's Drive co-star Carey Mulligan display a dark yet charming performance that matches the rest of the magnificent cast, particularly Justin Timberlake, who's made a smooth transition from pop star to actor.  With The Coen's O Brother Where Art Thou? music producer T-Bone Burnett on board I don't even have to tell you how great the music is.
It's a compelling gem of a film that is sure to please fans of the brother's more difficult films and probably baffle others with it's odd style of storytelling and miserable characters.

5 folk singers & a cat out of 5

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

‘O Brother’ is the reason I like Clooney. He plays one of three guys, none of whom are the sharpest tool in the box, as they set out on a journey from point A to B. It’s not that simple, of course, because the law are hot on their hayseed heels every step of the way.
It doesn't strive for realism. It exists in a kind of made up version of the South with elements of classicism that imbue it with a magical quality without stretching the credulity too much.
Repeated viewings enable a deeper appreciation and reveal just how beautifully constructed it all is. And that soundtrack! Oh, my.

5 obstackels out of 5

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY [2013]

Dan Scanlon, director of Tracy, brings a lot of color and flair to the prequel to the 2001 Pixar hit Monsters, Inc. with the equally as entertaining Monsters University.
Like the first film, it doesn't quite meet the imaginative high standards of other Pixar films like Up, Wall-E or the Toy Story series but it has a thoughtful charm and thoroughly wholesome energy that leaves you smiling.  I can easily say I quite enjoyed this one and would watch it again to feel the warm & fuzzies.

3½ fifty foot tall librarians out of 5

THE HANGOVER PART III [2013]

After the retread shittiness of the second film, it's nice to see director Todd Phillips put some care back into the final instalment of his Hangover series.
It ditches the "hangover" template of the story all together (you could be critical as to why it's called the Hangover then, but do you really want to bother wasting your time with something so silly?) and instead it allows the story to develop into a comedic manhunt/suspense film.  In a way it works quite well and in others it's a bit of a misstep as well.  There's a few good laughs to be had but at times it's just too dark or angry to fully enjoy it as supposedly funny film.  Hardcore fans of the series will eat it up but casual viewers will scratch their heads wondering if this is supposed to be funny or intense.

2½ coked up cocks out of 5

DEATH SENTENCE [2007]

Saw director James Wan makes an effort to add real emotion into his violent filmography with an adaptation of the 2nd novel in Brian Garfield's Paul Kersey series, Death Sentence.
Kevin Bacon does a fantastic job in the role that Charles Bronson defined years before in the Death Wish film series, only this time around Wan & co. don't glamorize the idea of vigilantism and that makes for a far more frightening and realistic experience.  Apart from some great performances from Garret Hedlund & John Goodman and some excellent photography, including a dizzying tracking shot, the rest of the film is an uneven mess.  The emotional arcs are all badly timed and placed in the wrong spots making it hard to really invest any real feelings into the story.

3 taxi driver allusions out of 5

MONSTERS, INC. [2001]

It might not be one of Pixar/Disney's best films but Monsters, Inc. is most definitely one of it's cutest.
From Finding Nemo director Lee Unkrich and The Simpsons director David Silverman, this film is guaranteed to charm the pants off you with it's lovable characters, colorful visuals and vivid imagination.  It lacks the finesse of previous Pixar films or really any jokes for the older crowd but it's still a pretty fun ride, even if the kids will probably enjoy it more.  John Goodman and Billy Crystal's chemistry is just as good as Tom Hanks and Tim Allen's in Toy Story and that makes me eager for more of these delightful characters and their hijinks.

3½ yellow snow cones out of 5

Raising Arizona (1987)

A Coen Brothers comedy filled with outlandish shenanigans.
Nic Cage can be a lead weight sometimes, but he doesn't overact and ruin this one. His character exists in a surreal mid-point between responsible husband and habitual offender with a thing for convenience stores. It's the husband part that gives him the most trouble.
It's definitely style over substance, but it's Coen style, which means wonderful dialogue and a fantastic chase scene.
If you still need convincing, it also stars Holly Hunter and John Goodman!

4 new babies out of 5

FLIGHT [2012]

Director Robert Zemeckis makes a bold return to his first live-action film since 2000's Cast Away for the surprisingly quiet character drama, Flight. 

Normally Zemeckis isn't particularly subtle with his work but with the help with some finely subdued performances from Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle and Kelly Reilly, Flight is able to stay grounded and focus on wonderful & complex character moments.  It's wonderful to see Zemeckis drop the motion-capture animated films for something a little more quieter and hardly depending on any FX at all.

3½ upside down planes out of 5

TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE [2012]

Clint Eastwood comes out of acting retirement for the 2012 baseball film Trouble With The Curve.  It follows the predictable story of a crotchety old baseball scout who ends up on his final recruitment job with a daughter, played by Amy Adams, whom he hardly knows.  It's pretty much dramatic schmaltz that doesn't quite have the emotional impact it should.  The pacing hits a wall everytime Justin Timberlake comes in as a pointless side story.  If not for Eastwood & Adams' chemistry and performances, it'd be a complete waste of time.

2 beer 'n pizza breakfast for one out of 5