Frosty Returns (1992)

The animation company changes hands from Rankin/Bass to Bill Melendez Productions, which likely explains why this special feels so oddly Peanuts-esque. Something about it just doesn't work. Not sure if it's the awkward casting of John Goodman as the titular snowman, the uninspired plot or the dull song(s). This one caps off the "Frosty trilogy" beginning with Frosty the Snowman and Frosty's Winter Wonderland and it couldn't come soon enough.

2 Summer Wheezes out of 5 

The Smurfs (2011)

I'll spare you the usual spiel about how this movie "raped my childhood," along with Scooby Doo, Garfield, Alvin & The Chipmunks and Yogi Bear before it, because, quite frankly, the Smurfs weren't all that great to begin with. They make the translation well to CGI, but the little blue shits themselves aren't very interesting at all. Hank Azaria as Gargamel makes this watchable, but just barely.

1 stupid fuckin' CGI cat out of 5