SUICIDE SQUAD [2016]

Director David Ayers digs the DCEU's grave just a little more deeper with the third film in the negatively received franchise, Suicide Squad.
After Superman's death in BvS, the government decides it's time to assemble a team of disposable warriors, in the form of a group of imprisoned super-villains, should they ever face such a powerful alien-like threat again.
It's an intriguing refreshing premise to root for the villains but after some heavy duty studio meddling we get yet another superhero film with Hot Topic anti-heroes who are less intimidating than the new Supes and Batsy.  It's not nearly as nihilistic as it seems to think it is and that's mostly due to the poorly written characters that all fall flat on their faces, even if some of the performances are particularly spot-on (not you Leto. You just sucked).  The irksome attack of instantly familiar pop/rock songs every other minute felt like it wanted to be a 90's Michael Bay version of The Dirty Dozen but it doesn't have the attitude or heart to ever feel it.

2 homicidal math lessons out of 5

TRUMBO [2015]

Austin Powers director Jay Roach takes a more serious approach to film with the lively biographical period-drama Trumbo.  

Bryan Cranston shines as acclaimed 1940's screenwriter Dalton Trumbo, who was famously blacklisted from Hollywood, for his communist beliefs, but continued to work and win major awards under a pseudonym.
The script has a tough time justifying itself, with so much going on it never really gives us a clear example as to why Trumbo was such a genius, unless you're already quite familiar with his work.  It's riddled with tired clichés that are all thankfully made a little more digestible with an amazing ensemble cast that is boiling over the edge with appeal.

3 grumpy tubby times out of 5

POMPEII [2014]

When it came to Paul W.S. Anderson's Pompeii, I wanted to watch pretty people run through exploding buildings as the earth opened up and swallowed them whole, without ever having to use my brain thingy.
I got exactly what I wanted but every so often my brain would turn on and would ask me why I was still watching it.   The real life disaster/love story film worked with Titanic and fell flat on it's face with Pearl Harbor.  Pompeii leans in closer to the Michael Bay shitfest with it's painfully predictable dialogue, horrible casting choices and lack of enthusiasm that all misses the mark to be a guilty pleasure shitfest.  It performed it's meaningless duties for a single viewing and I won't be needing it services again.

2 missing gods out of 5

BULLET TO THE HEAD [2013]

Sly Stallone and The Fast & The Furious' Sung Kang drive around killing people in director Walter Hill's Bullet To The Head, an adaptation of Alex Nolent's graphic novel Du Plomb Dans La Tete.
It's pretty much cinematic trash that seems like it was scripted by an uneducated adolescent with absolutely nothing worthwhile to say.  With films like these you would at least expect some sort of thought put into the kill sequences or the one-liners but there is none of that to be seen.  The film is simply void of any appeal whatsoever.

½ headshot out of 5

FASTER [2010]

After a long string of bad kiddy films, Dwayne Johnson returns to fine form in 2010's stylish revenge flick Faster.

The Rock looks great seething with hatred and anger as he mows down the bad guys in whatever way seems fit.  Unfortunately the film gives away it's mystery 30 minutes in and becomes predictable for far too long.  The dialogue could have used a little more flash and perhaps setting the film in a different era might have helped the attitude a lot more.  Don't expect any surprises but if you know what you're expecting it's a guaranteed good time.

3 bad days at the office out of 5

The Thing (2011)

The good thing about prequels is that it doesn't really hurt the original film as much as sequels and remakes do. The bad thing about this particular prequel is that it doesn't really add anything new to the table either. I watched it back-to-back with the original and it pretty much felt like an exact remake. I give the producers credit for doing their homework and keeping the look consistent (it remains very faithful in detail), but CGI will never trump practical effects as far as replicating the feel of the original. There is a coda at the end that leads directly into the original film, but that's the only real exciting part of it.

2.5 metal fillings out of 5