Red Planet (2000)

It hit screens just eight months after the other Mars movie of 2000, but its target audience was slightly different. De Palma’s Mission to Mars at least attempted to appeal to an intelligent audience, whereas RP seems to have been aimed primarily at the action fan. The two things aren't mutually exclusive, but it’s rare to find them cosy in bed together.
Dir. Antony Hoffman's direction is decent enough and the landscapes are prettier than Mission's are, but the script is just as limp, albeit in a different way. The CGI robotic murder-dog didn't help matters at all.

2½ empty cannisters out of 5

POMPEII [2014]

When it came to Paul W.S. Anderson's Pompeii, I wanted to watch pretty people run through exploding buildings as the earth opened up and swallowed them whole, without ever having to use my brain thingy.
I got exactly what I wanted but every so often my brain would turn on and would ask me why I was still watching it.   The real life disaster/love story film worked with Titanic and fell flat on it's face with Pearl Harbor.  Pompeii leans in closer to the Michael Bay shitfest with it's painfully predictable dialogue, horrible casting choices and lack of enthusiasm that all misses the mark to be a guilty pleasure shitfest.  It performed it's meaningless duties for a single viewing and I won't be needing it services again.

2 missing gods out of 5

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

With no proper opening Revolutions jumps straight into the story that was left hanging at the end of Reloaded. The rabbit hole doesn't go as deep as that ending pretended it did; instead, it spirals around the satisfyingly obvious conclusion and gets lost in flimsy tunnels of incredulity.
The leather outfits reach fetish proportions, which makes everything feel kind of ridiculous. The silliness isn't helped by the addition of some gunfights that are like a parody of the first film. It’s hard to believe that what you’re watching is created by the same people as before.
The film gets further bogged down by a noisy non-interactive X-Box shooter siege that goes on forever. It gave me an actual headache.
Elsewhere, Neo goes full Maud’Dib, becoming the only thing worth caring about as he advances toward an ending that I find to be both half-heartedly pleasing and simultaneously vexing.

2 opposites attracting out of 5

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The lofty concepts got loftier and consequently the relatable human story got somewhat buried, which is ironic because it’s the fate of humanity that’s at stake. Upping the philosophical concepts necessitated some hefty exposition from some new players that upsets the narrative flow.
Beneath the clumsy pacing and obligatory fights is the tale of Neo, the reluctant messianic figure. The secondary characters’ two-dimensionality can then be explained away as them representing challenges and fake ideals that Neo must overcome. It’s not the best way of looking at things, but it’s credible.
Reloaded forms a necessary bridge between Part I and Part III and, while it does eventually justify its incompleteness as far as story goes, it’s problematic as a standalone film because it’s essentially one half of an extended coda with an ambition that overwhelms its execution.

3 purposeful punches out of 5

The Matrix (1999)

It probably has its haters (although I've never met one) but no one can deny that The Matrix was a milestone in filmmaking. It shattered existing technical barriers and changed forever how action movies were made. It’s not its fault it spawned a barrelful of inferior clones.
It throws in a smorgasbord of references to Eastern and Western philosophy, mythology, religion and spirituality to give people that like to scratch beneath the surface something deeper to explore, but if you’d rather enjoy it simply as an action movie you can do that too because it finds a comfortable balance, which is a rare thing.
Anime fans will spot many references to famous works; even the framing frequently mimics the genre stylings.

5 lines of code out of 5

The Matrix Revisited (2001)

A feature-length documentary that gets behind the scenes and into the very heart of the making of The Matrix (1999). It delves into production methods, influences, philosophy, SFX and the trials experienced by cast and crew during production.
You get to see Yuen Woo-ping at work, which was a real treat for me.
The film also functioned as a kind of promotion vehicle for the then unreleased sequels.
It'll be of great interest to film students and Matrix fans, but I don't imagine Joe Public will get overly excited by it.

3½ simulacra out of 5

SILENT HILL: REVELATION [2012]

The original Silent Hill film was surprisingly good compared to the standards set for video game film adaptations before it.

Sadly, the sequel completely shits the bed with it's horrible performances, excruciating dialogue that falls onto hokey monologues way too many times, amateurish direction and CGI that jumps between pretty good to downright sloppy.   Sometimes some clever editing can occasionally save shitfests like this but all parties involved in Silent Hill: Revelations don't seem to know or care what they're doing.   

Silent Hill fans who have been waiting for six years for this deserve much better than this insult to the senses. 

1 Carnival from Hell out of 5

MEMENTO [2000]

Director Christopher Nolan's neo-noir revenge thriller Memento is a fascinating watch indeed.  Utilizing the non-linear style of storytelling to the maximum, Nolan has a knack for constantly baffling audiences with twists and turns.  Unfortunately his characters have never really been all that interesting and that hurts the film during repeat viewings since you've solved the mystery.  Still the tense atmosphere and performances from Guy Pearce & Joe Pantoliano make for a great film to see at least once.

3 cases of Anterograde amnesia out of 5