The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)

Nic Cage plays Nick Cage in a film that tries hard to be deep and offer meta commentary like Adaptation, but ends up settling into a standard action-comedy formula that feels trite and uninspired. It's a shame they downplay all the esoterism and obscure film references, and instead provide some kind of conventional middle-ground to appease general moviegoers. As a lifelong fan, I was rather disappointed by the waste of potential that was suggested in the title. I appreciate all the in-jokes and references to earlier films, but once you're in on the joke, no amount of nouveau shamanic acting can save it. It's worth it for the Cage factor alone (he plays two versions of himself, including his younger, idealized Wild at Heart self), but don't expect to be wowed by it.

2½ golden prop guns out of 5

Orion and the Dark (2024)

Inside Out, as scripted by Charlie Kaufman. Orion is a kid who is scared of everything. He's obsessed with death and has an existential fear of the unknown. He contemplates all of life's big questions: What happens after it all goes dark? This is Charlie Brown if he was distilled down to a pure anxiety disorder. Pretty heavy shit for a kid's movie.

After a total blackout, Orion encounters the embodiment of the Dark, who takes him out on a grand adventure (à la Little Nemo in Slumberland) and forces him to confront his fears. Also in tow are the other nighttime entities: Sleep, Quiet, Sweet Dreams, Insomnia, and Unexplained Noises. (What a bunch of assholes!) You can kind of tell where this is going, but there are actually layers that are gradually peeled back and offer varying narrative perspectives. It goes some interesting places that few children's films would ever dare to go, which means it might be too intense for the little ones (though it would have been perfect for me). Once the curtain is finally lifted, there is an additional story being told that can only be appreciated by grown ass adults. Unfortunately, you get the feeling Kaufman's original script has been watered down in some respects to make it more agreeable for general audiences. You can sense they're holding back and are beholden to a more optimistic, conventional approach. As such, it's not quite as good as it could have been, but you can see all the potential that was there on the page.

3½ gilded lilies out of 5

SUICIDE SQUAD [2016]

Director David Ayers digs the DCEU's grave just a little more deeper with the third film in the negatively received franchise, Suicide Squad.
After Superman's death in BvS, the government decides it's time to assemble a team of disposable warriors, in the form of a group of imprisoned super-villains, should they ever face such a powerful alien-like threat again.
It's an intriguing refreshing premise to root for the villains but after some heavy duty studio meddling we get yet another superhero film with Hot Topic anti-heroes who are less intimidating than the new Supes and Batsy.  It's not nearly as nihilistic as it seems to think it is and that's mostly due to the poorly written characters that all fall flat on their faces, even if some of the performances are particularly spot-on (not you Leto. You just sucked).  The irksome attack of instantly familiar pop/rock songs every other minute felt like it wanted to be a 90's Michael Bay version of The Dirty Dozen but it doesn't have the attitude or heart to ever feel it.

2 homicidal math lessons out of 5

SISTERS [2015]

Pitch Perfect director Jason Moore's Sisters reunites SNL vets Tina Fey & Amy Poehler with much greater success than their previous big screen effort, Baby Mama.
Two 40-something sisters decide to throw a raging house party before their parents sell their cherished childhood home.
It's a humorous twist to have "mature" adults instead of the usual frat-pack partake in this sort of debauchery, even if does occasionally it does forget that's part of the joke and comes off as just plain sad.  There's plenty of great laugh out loud moments amidst the alcohol & drug-infused chaos but it grows a little thin at it's overly long 2 hour running time.  Thankfully, the chemistry of it's two leads and funny supporting cast make the trip seem a little shorter.
Like the drunken characters, you'll come out of it knowing you had fun but don't remember much.

2½ queefs on a yoga ball out of 5

NEIGHBORS 2: SORORITY RISING [2016]

Director Nicholas Stoller and the rest of the cast & crew of 2014's Neighbors return for another frat-pack smackdown in Sorority Rising.
This time, instead of a dope-headed fraternity, Seth Rogen & Rose Byrne are going head-to-head with a more menacing sorority with the help of a bitter Zac Efron as their prank-master mentor.
With the first film not being very good at all, I was a bit surprised to find this one a bit more enjoyable and packed with more frat-boy belly laughs.  It smartens up a bit with some tired social issues that don't weigh down the laughs but instead make for some of the funnier moments in the film.
It's still a huge waste of time but nevertheless a humorous waste of time.

2½ princess dildos out of 5

NEIGHBORS [2014]

Director Nicholas Stoller sticks to his frat-pack roots for the raunchy comedy Neighbors (obviously not based on the Aussie soap opera).  

Normally I quite enjoy these types of films for cheap laughs and obnoxious guffaws and for some reason this one didn't quite deliver.  Sure, there were a handful of moments that made me laugh out loud but for the most part it really fell short of the good belly chuckles or anything memorable.  It was nice to see Seth Rogen and Zac Efron have a great comedic chemistry together, so it was dissapointing to see the script they had to work with didn't quite hit the over-the-top crazy it could have been. 

A real misfire for what could have been immature, tasteless fun.

2 not balloons out of 5