28 Years Later (2025)

It hasn't quite been 28 years since 28 Days Later was released, but it's close enough. This was originally intended to be the capper to the 28 Days trilogy, though it's confusingly been repurposed and designed as the first part of its own new trilogy, so we don't even get the satisfaction of a proper ending. 

Anyway, 28 years on, the infected still linger in the British Isles, as well as survivors who are indefinitely quarantined. A boy learns survival techniques through his father while caring for his sick mum. There is a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing, as well as the typical frenetic editing we've come to expect from this series. In typical Alex Garland fashion, the first 3/4ths are exceptionally strong, but then it shits the bed at the very end. I'm torn as to how to rate this, since we obviously have to wait for the next installment(s) for any kind of structural narrative resolution, but I give it a very reluctant:

3½ memento mori out of 5

Note: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple is set to be released January 2026.

Bullet Train (2022)

Brad Pitt finds himself on a high-speed rail train from Tokyo to Kyoto with a bunch of trained assassins who are trying to kill him. It's a nonstop thrill ride that propels itself through highly stylized action-comedy sequences which can feel a bit excessive at times. Like Boy Kills World, it's a fun, turn-off-your-brain film, even though it runs a bit long and gets repetitive at a certain point. My favorite parts were all the surprise cameos, which I won't spoil here. Could have used more Karen Fukuhara, though. Her entire part was in the trailer.

3 Momomons out of 5

Nosferatu (2024)

Forget everything you know about F. W. Murnau's original 1922 silent German Expressionist horror film. This is a completely new interpretation. Originally based on Bram Stoker's Dracula (with just enough details changed to escape copyright infringement), it tells the story of a woman and her connection to an ancient evil spirit.

Robert Eggers is one of those filmmakers (like Ari Aster) who has carved out his own path with a singular vision and niche style of storytelling. Even when I'm not totally in love with that vision, I admire it more for its audacity in the face of mainstream values.

While I imagine this film won't be for everyone (it's very slow, with lots of lingering shadow play), it's unique enough to leave an indelible impression on the viewer. It's more of a dark, brooding mood piece than anything.

4 plague-infested rats out of 5

Kraven the Hunter (2024)

The Sony Spider-Man Universe (SSU) revolves around villains and ancillary characters from the Spider-Man comics without actually involving the web-slinger himself (the character is currently on loan to the Disney MCU). What we get instead are some half-baked ideas and origin movies that don't really go anywhere. The most successful of these was Venom, which spawned two sequels, but Morbius and Madame Web were plagued by poor creative decisions which ended up cancelling plans for further films in the franchise.

The latest of these, Kraven the Hunter, is based on the villain whose power lies in his name. While attacked and left for dead by a shitty CGI lion, he receives a mystery serum which gives him heightened predatory abilities. We're also introduced to versions of Rhino, Chameleon, Calypso and the Foreigner. The result isn't terrible, but the problem with these origin stories is that they set up future tentpoles that will never come because each of these Sony films has underperformed. What ever happened to making complete standalone movies that don't rely on tying it to future IP? The movie isn't bad per se, there's just a lot of strands that never get paid off and probably never will, especially since these stories remain separate from the Marvel Spider-Man IP, confusingly enough. It's all just a big tease that will never come.

2 spider hallucinations out of 5 

The Fall Guy (2024)

An update on the '80s TV series of the same name, Ryan Gosling plays Colt Seavers, a Hollywood stunt double who suffers a career-ending injury and struggles to reclaim his earlier glory. When hired for a part on his bitter ex-girlfriend's film, he finds himself embroiled on a mission to track down the lead actor who has mysteriously disappeared. There's not a ton of surprises to be found here, but it's all very charming and jovial, and all the parts work well even though we've seen them all before. It's a perfectly acceptable action-comedy handled by two very capable leads. Employing minimal CGI, and a whole lot of practical stunt work and impressive choreography, it serves as a loving tribute to stunt performers, past and present.

3 cameos during the mid-credits out of 5

NOCTURNAL ANIMALS [2016]

If one had to come with one word to describe Tom Ford's noir-ish psychological thriller Nocturnal Animals it'd be 'devastating'.
It tells a story within a story, firstly being that of a wealthy but disheartened women receives a copy of a novel from her ex-husband, whom she hadn't talked to in nearly 20 years, which he wrote and dedicated to her.  The other half of the film tells the story within the novel, about a husband who is the only surviving member of his family after a violent attack.
With strong performances all around, particularly Michael Shannon & Aaron-Taylor Johnson, stunningly beautiful Herrmann-esque music from Abel Korzeniowski and gorgeous intoxicating photography it's hard not to become entranced with this cold-hearted, cunningly crafted tale of broken souls, revenge and violent desperation.

4 shocking pieces of art out of 5

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON [2015]

Director Joss Whedon returns for his final stint in the Marvel Cinematic Universe with the second full-fledged Avengers film, Age Of Ultron.
Basically it's Earth's Mightiest Heroes, still feeling the repercussions of what their solo films put them through, team up to save the world from an humanity destroying machine known as Ultron.  The concept is simple enough for first time viewers to still enjoy the film without any prior knowledge, yet, like the MCU films & TV series before it, it features just enough back-story to excite fans who know the pieces for the Infinity Gauntlet and Civil War are all falling into place.  It doesn't quite have the same impact of "hey that Whedon guy did a great job" as the first one did but it still manages to pretty damned good fun.  Whedon's at his strongest when he's featuring his ensemble team working (or fighting) together in both dialogue heavy scenes or full all-over-the-map action sequences.  It's front-to-back a modern Hollywood spectacle but it proves Transformers is not how you do popcorn films.

3 drunken excelsiors out of 5

GODZILLA [2014]

Inspired by the '50's kaiju films, Hollywood decides to give the Godzilla franchise another go, after the dismal shit-heap that was birthed by Roland Emmerich in 1998.
Director Gareth Edwards knows a thing or two about giant beasties based on the success of his first feature, Monsters.  Naturally he's one of the better choices to take the helm for such a film and he really doesn't disappoint with this loud, flashy romp of a good time.
It's a slow-burning start to establish mood and setting, which left some movie-goers impatient but I found that to be part of the excitement when the entire theater finally did rumble and shake from the title character's mighty roar.  It's pretty thin on characters and hardly subtle with it's "nuclear power bad" message but when things start blowing up nothing else matters.

3 cases of nasty breath out of 5

KICK-ASS 2 [2013]

For the sequel to Matt Vaughan's highly entertaining, hyper-violent comic book film Kick-Ass, Jeff Wadlow steps into the director's chair.
It's a little darker, bloodier and deals with some fairly serious subject matter but still manages to toss in some out of place one-liners and juvenile crudeness that will surely please the youthful minded.  I love the idea of these losers in life joining together to form a Justice League of their own only to be rivalled by a team of super villains who turn to be quite deadly.  It doesn't have the same shock-factor as the original did, so they wisely don't try to recreate that and instead opt for some interesting background to the Hit-Girl character, while Kick-Ass himself is left to wander around aimlessly.  Not as fun as the original but will probably please it's league of off-kilter fans.

3 sleepy shark tanks out of 5

Kick-Ass (2010)

A regular guy tries to emulate his comic book heroes in the real world; will he stop the bad guy and get the girl or get his ass dusted? It’s hard to care, really.
Chloë Moretz makes it worth watching and Nic Cage channelling his inner Adam West era Batman gives him his best role in over a decade.
It’s a film that’ll appeal to the summer blockbuster fan who likes chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, but check the ingredients and you’ll find that it’s just a chocolate flavoured coating masking a cheap marshmallow.

2½ batons to the balls out of 5