Disclosure Day (2026)

I have to take a moment to appreciate that it's 2026 and we're getting a new original Spielberg sci-fi epic with possibly one of the last original scores by John Williams. These days feel numbered. Spielberg has been obsessed with extraterrestrials his entire career. It feels like he's completing a cycle here that began nearly 50 years ago with Close Encounters of the Third Kind. In many ways, he's been working towards this film his entire life. The scale is smaller and more intimate, but the implications are timeless. We've all grown so cynical in this day and age, yet I admire how he makes magic and wonder seem possible again in the world, even if it only exists on the silver screen.

3½ cardinals out of 5

Love Actually (2003)

I have a troubled personal history with this movie going all the way back to 2003, but it is strangely irresistible, magical and charming in a way that most ensemble romantic comedies manage to fail at. I credit that to Richard Curtis embracing the adult humor and R-rated spirit of the material, while somehow comfortably fitting into that cozy Christmas mold. The music in this film is also spectacular and manages to elevate it to new heights. While I'll never shake the pain of watching this alone for the first time (or the last), there's no denying it's become a classic at this point. I won't even try to resist anymore.

Audiences love to try and re-analyze films through the lenses of modern sensibilities and criticize some of its choices for being "tone-deaf" at the time, but that's just a lazy cop-out. It's aged remarkably well and has only gotten better in time. There's only one storyline in this film which I find abhorrent (it's not the one you think), and that's the only reason why I docked it half a star. It's an absolutely perfect romantic comedy aside from it. 

4½ hand-made signs out of 5

Empire of Light (2022)

In a quiet English coastal town in 1980, a lonely, aging woman works at the Empire Cinema as a theatre manager. A new, much younger hire threatens to shake up her world. Sam Mendes's romantic drama serves as a stirring homage to cinema that didn't quite resonate with me as deeply as I would have hoped. The romantic aspect wasn't entirely convincing, and the story quickly shifted into something else completely different. I kind of wish they chose to focus more on the history of the theater and the magic of the movies. I thought the most interesting character was Norman, the projectionist, especially when he stayed late to screen Being There for Hilary. The sweeping cinematography and music was in fine form (especially the rooftop fireworks scene depicted on the poster), but the end result feels more than a little underwhelming.

3 skinhead marches out of 5

The Last Legion (2007)

Set in Britain and Rome in the year 460 AD, TLL is an action/adventure movie with an underdeveloped coming of age element, some acceptable sword fighting, a bundled cliched romance between allies, a rousing few-versus-many speech and a cookie-cutter battle-heavy finale. Its best feature, however, is that it has very little CGI in support of most things on that list.
Themes including self-sacrifice, friendship, honour, duty, and accepting responsibility are surface-skimmed in a manner that suggests the filmmakers achieved what they set out to do, which was to tick a number of well-worn boxes and avoid any of the more interesting ones. It is what it is: i.e. a movie that's as unremarkable as my half-assed commentary on the thing itself.

2½ well-groomed beards out of 5

Gambit (2012)

A straight-to-DVD remake of a 1966 Ronald Neame film of the same name.
It stars Colin Firth as a pained art curator who plans to fleece a rich and bastardly Alan Rickman of a very large sum of money. He can't do it alone, however, so enlists the help of a Texan chicken-plucker named PJ Puznowski (Cameron Diaz), who makes an already average film even worse.
The big draw for a lot of people will be that its final screenplay was penned by the Coen brothers; and while a sizeable portion of it has their wit it lacks the timing and finesse that they themselves usually bring to a production.
Firth is the obvious comedy highlight, but a special mention for the two Savoy Hotel desk clerks is definitely in order.

2½ unforeseen wrinkles out of 5

The King's Speech (2010)

The Duke of York, son of King George V, has a stammer that makes public speaking both problematic and terrifying. With his inaugural speech on the wireless looming, he seeks the aid of speech therapist Lionel Logue.
The grand settings are nice, but the real beauty is in the relationships that develop. With that in mind, Colin Firth doesn't get the credit he deserves as an actor; he proves once again that he's more than up to the task of carrying a lead role and giving it the nuances it deserves.
Geoffrey Rush as Lionel is great, too. His interactions with the Duke humanise the royal, showing him as more than just a privileged and pompous figurehead that the public at large were conditioned to respect and revere.
I wasn't at all surprised to discover after viewing that parts written for the stage were incorporated into the screenplay - they're easy to spot.

4 mouth marbles out of 5

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE [2014]

Director Matt Vaughn returns to his pip-pip roots with the highly entertaining action/comedy Kingsman: The Secret Service, loosely based on Mark Millar & Dave Gibbon's comic book series of the same name.
It's the tale of a young council estate delinquent who is recruited by his mysterious upper-class uncle for a British spy organization that goes against an American eco-terrorist.  Vaughn calls back his crude, comic book ultra-violence of Kick-Ass and meshes it with his wide-eyed coming-of-age wonder of X-men: First Class then stuffs it with a suave snarkiness that's both satirical and dedicated to the '60's British spy films it's taking the piss out of.  It's pretty uneven at times but it hardly deters from the bat-shit crazy fun that's to be had especially with Colin Firth & Michael Caine having a ball doing what they do best, while Sammy Jackson is an absolute hoot as the super villain with a lisp.

3½ James Bonds, Jason Bournes & Jack Bauers out of 5

St Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's Gold (2009)

It's a new term at St Trinian's, but instead of terrorising the classroom the girls are out hunting for pirate gold. It’s a ludicrous story far removed from the scholastic concerns that you'd expect to see, but somehow slightly more entertaining because of it. You could call it a kind of history lesson, I suppose.
As before, Firth and Everett kept me from slipping into unconsciousness.

2 under studies out of 5

St Trinian's (2007)

Our reintroduction to the all-girls school is alongside rich girl Annabelle (Talulah Riley), who gets enrolled by her waste-of-space father. She’s ill at ease in an institution where the girls make moonshine in the Chemistry lab and some of the staff are on drugs.
The Minister for Education is a wanker (art imitating life?) who wants to make an example of them, so the girls have to fight for their right to party.
Unless you’re a fourteen-year-old girl (or think like one) then it's a complete washout. For adults, the allusions made to things outside the film are likely to be the most entertaining (e.g. the horny dog, Darcy).

1½ belles with (hockey) balls out of 5

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck in the same film is enough to have me running hurriedly in the opposite direction, but there are exceptions to every rule, even when the rules are of my own making.
Shakespeare in Love is a costumed comedy of romance set in the days when just walking under a window was a hazardous activity. Will (Joseph Fiennes) is without a muse and his writing is suffering. His patrons are without a play to stage and their pockets are shrinking. Everything hinges on the bard overcoming his block, but instead of turning his attentions to paper and quill, like fortune's fool he turns them instead toward a woman he can’t have.
The excellent script weaves a fanciful reality with literary fiction, causing lateral friction for everyone and never once overstays its welcome.

4 stolen measures out of 5

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP [2014]

Director Rowan Joffé's adaptation of  S. J. Watson's thriller novel Before I Go To Sleep is ironically a great film to watch to help you go to sleep.
It tells the story of a woman who wakes up everyday with her memory wiped clean due to a terrible accident she suffered.  Fortunately Nicole Kidman is a delight to watch to distract the viewer from it's countless cliché twists 'n turns, duller than dull dialogue and ridiculous set-up that begs you take it more serious than it should.  Sadly they forget to add in more than two suspects to the mystery so when the big reveal is finally unveiled you wonder why you even bothered to stick around.
In short, it's boring, uninspired and way too predictable for a film that's supposedly built on mystery.

1 camera out of 5

THE RAILWAY MAN [2013]

Director Jonathan Teplitzky adapts The Railway Man, the autobiographical novel written by Eric Lomax, with powerful results due to precise story structure and compelling performances all around.
It's a psychological war story that tells of the suffering several decades later which is something we rarely ever seen portrayed on-screen and makes for a vigorous impact I wasn't prepared for.  Beautifully photographed as it gracefully moves back & forth through time and settings, the film never overwhelms with images and remains steadily focused on the message it's portraying.
This one is going to linger with me for quite sometime and it's really something I feel it set out to do so.

4 train rides out of 5

A CHRISTMAS CAROL [2009]

Robert Zemeckis continues his fascination with motion-capture animation in yet another adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. 

This time around it's Jim Carrey assuming the role of Ebenezer Scrooge and he does a pretty damned fine job at it.  Unfortunately, the film never really finds itself a heart and we're left with an entertaining performance, some interesting set-pieces and absolutely gorgeous animation.  When it all comes down to it you're left wondering if perhaps Zemeckis should have used live-action instead of animation to capture the soul of the story.  

3 multiples roles out of 5