Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)

Inexplicably changing gears from Top Gun to an all-out assault on Rambo, we trade the military air base for the jungles of Iraq (?), where Topper (Sheen) is lured out of retirement in order to infiltrate a POW camp. It takes great care to lampoon other hits of the zeitgeist, such as Apocalypse Now, The Godfather, Basic Instinct and Terminator 2. Some of the novelty may have worn off by this point, but this is still an above average, top notch spoof comedy. Featuring unapologetically sophomoric, lowbrow humor, you either love it or hate it.

3½ Geronimos out of 5

Wonka (2023)

For a moment, life doesn't seem quite so bad...

For a moment, I kind of forgot to be sad...

I was so skeptical going into this movie. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it manages to capture a bit of cinematic magic, which has become increasingly rare in these cynical times. I loved all of the original music, and every time I heard strains of "Pure Imagination," tears started squirting out of my eye balls. The message is heartfelt and the film itself is vibrant and full of color. There is one sequence in particular that stands out to me and solidifies it as a prequel to the Gene Wilder classic. Timothée Chalamet's younger portrayal of Willy Wonka acts as a loving homage and I can see the two existing side by side harmoniously. Not to mention, Hugh Grant is the bestest little Oompa Loompa. Between D&D and Heretic, I feel like he's having another career renaissance.

I've been analyzing why this film appeals to me so much and there is a real deep-seated sadness that runs throughout it. It's basically about unhappy people who are desperately trying to improve their worth through magical means. Wonka's chocolate promises to take their pain away and usher them into a land of infinite possibilities where the laws of real life no longer apply. I never realized how much melancholy and pathos this story contained. But it's within that inherent framework, along with Wonka's childlike sense of wonder and eternal optimism in the face of impossible odds, that really enhances the whole experience for me (along with the 1971 film). I give it an enthusiastic:

4½ levitating hoverchocs out of 5

Love Actually (2003)

I have a troubled personal history with this movie going all the way back to 2003, but it is strangely irresistible, magical and charming in a way that most ensemble romantic comedies manage to fail at. I credit that to Richard Curtis embracing the adult humor and R-rated spirit of the material, while somehow comfortably fitting into that cozy Christmas mold. The music in this film is also spectacular and manages to elevate it to new heights. While I'll never shake the pain of watching this alone for the first time (or the last), there's no denying it's become a classic at this point. I won't even try to resist anymore.

Audiences love to try and re-analyze films through the lenses of modern sensibilities and criticize some of its choices for being "tone-deaf" at the time, but that's just a lazy cop-out. It's aged remarkably well and has only gotten better in time. There's only one storyline in this film which I find abhorrent (it's not the one you think), and that's the only reason why I docked it half a star. It's an absolutely perfect romantic comedy aside from it. 

4½ hand-made signs out of 5

Bernard and the Genie (1991)

Bernard has just been sacked from work, found out his fiancée is fucking his best friend and is left with nothing...except an antique lamp which happens to house a disgraced genie imprisoned for thousands of years. Luckily, it's not one of those lame "three wishes" genies, but an infinity wish genie, which restores Bernard back to grace. This charming tale was created by that core talent responsible for Blackadder, Mr. Bean and the like. Lenny Henry inhabits the genie as a boisterous presence with a love for 20th century marvels. More than anything, it's just fun. I'm a sucker for these old made-for-TV movies. They sure don't make 'em like they used to.

4 Mr. Successes out of 5

THE LION KING [1994]

Disney's take on William Shakespeare's Hamlet comes in the form of singing jungle animals in the beautifully animated The Lion King.
It's about a young lion cub who must reclaim his throne as the King, after his father is murdered by his manipulative uncle and a pack of ravaging hyenas.
Dig a little deeper and you find a tale of love, hope and the search for one's identity.  The expressively lush animation shines bright and keeps one's eyes glued to the screen from beginning to end.  Most of the voicework is pretty dull, with the exception of Jeremy Irons and Nathan Lane who both steal each scene they're in.  While the songs might be a bit much here and there, they're not overly offensive.  I couldn't help but pick apart Disney's idea of social hierarchy and how it treats brawn over brains, rich over poor and how we should just accept what we're born into.
Still, as an piece of animation, I couldn't help but be in awe of the dedication put into crafting it into what it is.

4 circles of life out of 5

SCOOBY-DOO [2002]

Director Raja Gosnell directs a live-action big screen adaptation of the popular 1960's animated Hanna Barbara series Scooby-Doo.
Sticking true to the series' plots, the Scooby Gang investigate bizarre occurrences and do a lot of running around.  Scripted by James Gunn the film originally winked at the audience with plenty of adult-oriented jokes poking fun at the original series, Velma's questionable sexuality and marijuana jokes galore.  However Warner Bros. quickly turned it into a family-oriented film in the laziest of fashion.  While it does stick fairly true to the series in conventions, it simply isn't very good at all...but let's face it, kids, the series wasn't all that great to begin with.  Matthew Lillard is left to carry the weight of the entire film as Shaggy and he does an absolutely wonderful job channelling the character's lovableness, expressions and heart.

1½  meddling kids out of 5

Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death (1999)

If it's not already apparent from the title and picture above, Fatal Death is a parody. It was a skit made for Comic Relief, but it’s filled with love for the real deal, acted by people deserving of the accolade and written by Steven Moffat, who was no stranger to Dr. Who lore even then.
There's a running gag in the first half, but the second half is where the real treasure is found. What occurs throughout certainly isn't 'canon', but if it was Joanna Lumley would get my vote.

3 Dalek bumps out of 5

RAT RACE [2001]

Jerry Zucker of Airplane! & The Naked Gun fame, steps away from his usual sight gag comedies and attempts to nestle his humor into a character based comedy in 2001's Rat Race.
Starring a huge ensemble cast of entertaining actors, who will do any film that comes along for a paycheck (where's Michael Caine & Morgan Freeman?), Rat Race manages to get quite a few good laughs in but also has it's fair share of jokes that fall flat on their face.
It's not essential viewing but is worth a look at at least once for the good laughs it does provide.

3 Squirrel Ladies out of 5

The Witches (1990)

The Witches is a movie I'd all but forgotten about, and I'm glad that I was recently reminded of it. Based on the Roald Dahl book of the same name, it tells the tale of a boy and his superstitious grandmother who unintentionally encounter a frightening group of witches. The movie alternates between being darkly funny and downright chilling, and features some fabulous puppet work. It's the last film that Jim Henson ever worked on personally, and it makes me long to see what else he might have brought the world. Anjelica Huston gives a masterful performance, and while the child stars aren't incredible actors, they avoid being annoying, which is a feat in of itself. The ending is drastically different than the one in the book, and a lot less effective overall, but the original ending hurt my heart a bit, so I can let it slide.

3.5 unorthodox weight loss methods out of 5.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean (1992)

Mr. Bean is the ultimate Forever Alone guy, which probably explains my affinity for the character. Like Pee-wee and Ernest before him (I'm sensing a theme here), he's an oddball man-child who finds himself in awkward circumstances. This review may as well be for the entire series, because it's bloody brilliant. The department store Nativity scene, band conducting, Christmas tree thievery, turkey on the head, fireworks that go boom. If there's one thing to make you feel better about spending your Christmas alone, it's this special.

5 self-written Christmas cards out of 5

Note: I've only seen the unedited broadcast version on TV (with the "guess the weight" gag and other added bits); unfortunately the DVD release remains arbitrarily cut.

Johnny English Reborn (2011)

As a faithful fan of Rowan Atkinson, I seek out to watch everything the man has been in, even though I accept that the first movie was pretty horrible. Like Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau act or Steve Carrell as Maxwell Smart, Atkinson is very funny here doing his uncomfortable comedy routine, and there are several gags that had me in stitches, but the production itself spews ass lava. Also, what the hell is Gillian Anderson doing in this?

2 should have made another Mr. Bean movie out of 5