Gorky Park (1983)

When three unknown bodies are discovered frozen in the snow in Moscow's Gorky Park, officer Arkady Renko (William Hurt) of the Soviet police force gets himself deep in danger while trying to get to the bottom if it. The KGB casually hand him the case, even though he suspects they may be involved.
Based on a novel of the same name by Martin Cruz Smith (I've not read it), it's a political thriller with a script that doesn't waste words, but to sustain its realism a film that's set in Russia and is about Russian citizens ought to be in the Russian language, not littered with American and British accents, even if they are fine actors at home. The love subplot that develops is rushed and unconvincing, but the level of intrigue compensates well enough.

3 cold reconstructions out of 5

STAR WARS - EPISODE V - THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK [1980]

Irvin Kershner assumes director's duties in place of storywriter George Lucas for the fifth instalment in the Star Wars saga, The Empire Strikes Back.

Widely considered the best of the series, the film is a bold, big space opera sweeping with melodrama, romanticism and big ol' space ships firing lasers.  While it is the series' best film, it can't stand on it's own with no real beginning or end to the story.  The cold, harsh planet Hoth at the beginning of the film reflects the dread and  darkness of the rest of the story.  A great achievement in Star Wars history that outdoes the original on every level.  

...and yeah, John Williams' Imperial March theme is feckin' awesome. 

4 asteroid potatoes out of 5

STAR WARS - EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH [2005]

The third installment of George Lucas' Star Wars saga, Revenge Of The Sith, is easily the best of the "prequel" trilogy.

Sure the hokey dialogue and flatlining acting is still firmly intact but it manages to pack in quite a powerful punch with it's melodrama and dazzling action sequences.  Visually the film is a masterpiece with it's solid colors and beautifully rendered backgrounds.  The final hour sends haunted chills down my spine as it's like watching your childhood's imagination being written before your very eyes.  It's great popcorn entertainment that doesn't end with a smile on it's face.

3 uber-aging out of 5

STAR WARS - EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES [2002]

Hayden Christiansen pouts and then pouts some more as Anakin Skywalker in the 2nd installment of the Star Wars space opera, Attack Of The Clones.

It's a slight improvement (although light years dumber) from the first film in the action but suffers greatly from Christiansen & Natalie Portman's awkward acting and terribly written love scenes that make daytime soap operas look like Shakespeare.  Horrible moments aside, Clones returns to the fun side of Star Wars that make you feel like a wide-eyed little kid again.  One just wishes that George Lucas would stand back and allow someone else in the writers & director's seat.  Still, Christopher Lee with a lightsaber is pretty fucking cool.

2 Jar-Jar's Big Adventures out of 5

STAR WARS - EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE [1999]

The Phantom Menace, the first part of the Star Wars prequel trilogy, is widely considered a major dud by dedicated fans and with good reason. 

It's 2 ½ hours of a story that could have easily been wrapped up in a minute over the famous Star Wars title scroll, instead we're treated to a poorly written film about a not so intriguing taxes on trade dispute story.  A few entertaining action sequences keep you from completely nodding off but the hope for better acting, characters and dialogue is never met.  It becomes quite clear that the original trilogy's greatest strength was the chemistry and performances of it's core cast, which this film completely lacks, with the exception of Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor doing the best with what they have to work with.

1½  folks from Brodo Asogi out of 5

SLEEPY HOLLOW [1999]

Director Tim Burton and Se7en screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker loosely adapt Washington Irving's The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow and turn it into a slasher flick homage to the Hammer films.

It's visually stunning, musically powerful and features a top-notch performance from Johnny Depp, but a script that stinks of multiple rewrites and an awkward performance from Christina Ricci drags it down a bit, sometimes brining nearly bringing the pacing to a complete halt.  

It's not quite a film to lose your head over but enough to please Burton/Depp fans.

3½ bleeding Trees Of Death out of 5