STAR WARS - EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH [2005]

The third installment of George Lucas' Star Wars saga, Revenge Of The Sith, is easily the best of the "prequel" trilogy.

Sure the hokey dialogue and flatlining acting is still firmly intact but it manages to pack in quite a powerful punch with it's melodrama and dazzling action sequences.  Visually the film is a masterpiece with it's solid colors and beautifully rendered backgrounds.  The final hour sends haunted chills down my spine as it's like watching your childhood's imagination being written before your very eyes.  It's great popcorn entertainment that doesn't end with a smile on it's face.

3 uber-aging out of 5

VANISHING ON 7TH STREET [2010]

Director Brad Anderson has some great films (Session 9, The Machinist) and TV shows (Fringe, The Killing) on his resume, so I thought the terribly received Vanishing On 7th Street might have some redeeming qualities.

It's got a incredibly creepy atmosphere and packs in some great scares as well.  Although it might have benefited from an extra 15 minutes at the beginning to flesh out the characters a bit more and maybe an explanation of what exactly happened.  It's a interesting concept but somehow feels like it was a rushed production which hurts the finished product quite a bit.

3 new world orders out of 5

STAR WARS - EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES [2002]

Hayden Christiansen pouts and then pouts some more as Anakin Skywalker in the 2nd installment of the Star Wars space opera, Attack Of The Clones.

It's a slight improvement (although light years dumber) from the first film in the action but suffers greatly from Christiansen & Natalie Portman's awkward acting and terribly written love scenes that make daytime soap operas look like Shakespeare.  Horrible moments aside, Clones returns to the fun side of Star Wars that make you feel like a wide-eyed little kid again.  One just wishes that George Lucas would stand back and allow someone else in the writers & director's seat.  Still, Christopher Lee with a lightsaber is pretty fucking cool.

2 Jar-Jar's Big Adventures out of 5

Jumper (2008)

Jumper jumped right out of my player and back into the box after 30 minutes.

No redeeming qualities of any kind.

Did it turn into Citizen Kane by the end? Who knows? Who Cares? Not me.

Oh, look... blue and yellow one-sheet art. That’s novel.

0 silver haired Sams out of 5