American Wedding (2003)

AKA: American Pie 3: The Wedding

Jim and Michelle are getting married, while Stifler throws the bachelor party. This entry focuses more on Steve Stifler's story, who was the only one of the high school cadre who hasn't changed at all, which is a relatable feeling.

I unabashedly love this series, even if my compadres do not. The first two entries are still my favorite. More than anything, it serves as a time capsule into what comedies used to be during a very specific slice of time and will never be again. Unfortunately, I could only ever relate to the first movie.

They show what friendship could be and the strengthening of those bonds forged during your formative years. Everything works out for the best for everyone, of course. These are life experiences I will never know or have.

These movies feel quaint now, some 20 years later. I miss them.

2½ GILFs out of 5

MOVIE 43 [2013]

Producer Charlie Wessler gathers together a band of embarrassed directors, including Peter Farrelly, James Gunn, Griffin Dunne, Brett Ratner and many more for his sketch comedy anthology Movie 43.  Depending on what country you're in will depend on what plot you'll get threading all the sketches together...for once, the U.S. cut is the best one.
It's basically a gaggle of juvenile humored sketches that constantly try to outdo each other in jokes about bodily fluids, sex, periods, incest and various forms of racism and sexism.  It's amazingly disgusting, vile and void of any sort of class.  With that being said, it's quite often just as funny as it is ridiculously stupid.  It's notoriously known as one of the worst films of all time but I wouldn't go that far.  I figure more was expected of it considering the huge cast of well-known actors involved, many of whom tried to unsuccessfully back out.

2 shitty car accidents out of 5

Welcome to the Jungle (2003)

aka The Rundown

A run-of-the-mill action movie with nauseating fight scenes and a buddy dynamic in need of a lethal injection. The Rock (when he was still called The Rock) is a 'retrieval expert' who goes to the Amazon jungle to manhandle someone who doesn't want to be retrieved.
I'm aware that he was basically doing what he did as Mathayus in The Scorpion King (2002), albeit in a more modern setting, but SK had heart and a sense of fun that wasn't forced. Welcome... has little of either of those things.

1½ hostile monkeys out of 5

GOON [2012]

Michael Dowse, writer/director of the hilariously disturbing Fubar films, hits the ice with the Jay Baruchel & Evan Goldberg scripted Goon.

It's pure Canadian hockey humour that will probably fly over most folks' heads and possibly shock some along the way.  It's brutally violent and filled with some overly filthy Canadian language but somehow manages to ground itself with a lot of heart.  It's a little unfocused, flat on character development and rushed at times but packs in just enough laughs to be forgiveable.  

3 Trailer Park Boys out of 5

AMERICAN PIE [1999]

It's rude, tasteless, shallow, offers nothing of intelligent substance or meaning...but it's funny as hell.
American Pie marked the return of gross-out comedy to the cinema, only this time around it came with a heart and nary a mean spirit in sight.  It's a constant reminder of the idiocy, awkwardness and all around embarrassing moments of being a North American teenager.  A fine adversary to the classic Porky's series.

3 pie-fuckers out of 5

AMERICAN REUNION [2012]

The entire cast of the first three American Pie films are back in American Reunion.  13 years later and there's gray hairs, more wrinkles and the risk of getting stale.  After some forced "nostalgic" scenes and cheesy "where are they now" bits, the film gets on with it's lowbrow gross-out trademark comedy.  Depending on your maturity level, you'll either laugh or despise it.  It provides enough gut-busting chuckles but in the end doesn't add up to much.  Like the tired Scream series, this is for fans only.

2½ see through pot lids out of 5

American Pie 2 (2001)

I have a stack of DVDs in the corner of my room that are awaiting a new home. They suck ass and I need to remove their shittiness from my house forever. That stack just got a little taller.

0½ Alyson Hannigan saying something sexy out of 5

ROLE MODELS [2008]

I tend to not like many comedies so this came as a very pleasant surprise.
Paul Rudd and Sean William Scott take the title roles as the Role Models who are ordered to enroll in a Big Brother program to avoid jail time.
The story is predictable and we all know exactly how it's going to end but the solid cast and believable characters provide enough laughs to keep you smiling right up until the end.
What else can I say? It's pretty damned funny.

...and it's the only time I've ever felt like cheering for KISS.

3½ cans of nuclear horse piss out of 5

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

Nary a titter did this piece of shit give me. I came away still in love with Lynda Carter even though she's my Mom's age, and a desire for a day full of AC/DC, so I guess I should give it half a point for that.

0½ Chucklehead yee-haws out of 5