Solo Mio (2026)

Stood up at the altar by the love of his life, a heartbroken man is left to enjoy the extravagant non-refundable honeymoon package in Italy all on his own. Yes, it has all the trappings of your typical Hallmark slop against the backdrop of gorgeous scenery, and even though it goes down the predictable avenues of plot convenience, I still enjoyed it quite a bit. There aren't enough romcoms from the perspective of lonely guys. Kevin James sets aside his 'fat man fall down' act in a more mature role. It's a gentle film, and I'm being particularly charitable given the holiday, even as I find myself completely 'only mine.'

3 Nessun dorma high notes out of 5

American Wedding (2003)

AKA: American Pie 3: The Wedding

Jim and Michelle are getting married, while Stifler throws the bachelor party. This entry focuses more on Steve Stifler's story, who was the only one of the high school cadre who hasn't changed at all, which is a relatable feeling.

I unabashedly love this series, even if my compadres do not. The first two entries are still my favorite. More than anything, it serves as a time capsule into what comedies used to be during a very specific slice of time and will never be again. Unfortunately, I could only ever relate to the first movie.

They show what friendship could be and the strengthening of those bonds forged during your formative years. Everything works out for the best for everyone, of course. These are life experiences I will never know or have.

These movies feel quaint now, some 20 years later. I miss them.

2½ GILFs out of 5

AMERICAN PIE [1999]

It's rude, tasteless, shallow, offers nothing of intelligent substance or meaning...but it's funny as hell.
American Pie marked the return of gross-out comedy to the cinema, only this time around it came with a heart and nary a mean spirit in sight.  It's a constant reminder of the idiocy, awkwardness and all around embarrassing moments of being a North American teenager.  A fine adversary to the classic Porky's series.

3 pie-fuckers out of 5

AMERICAN REUNION [2012]

The entire cast of the first three American Pie films are back in American Reunion.  13 years later and there's gray hairs, more wrinkles and the risk of getting stale.  After some forced "nostalgic" scenes and cheesy "where are they now" bits, the film gets on with it's lowbrow gross-out trademark comedy.  Depending on your maturity level, you'll either laugh or despise it.  It provides enough gut-busting chuckles but in the end doesn't add up to much.  Like the tired Scream series, this is for fans only.

2½ see through pot lids out of 5

American Pie 2 (2001)

I have a stack of DVDs in the corner of my room that are awaiting a new home. They suck ass and I need to remove their shittiness from my house forever. That stack just got a little taller.

0½ Alyson Hannigan saying something sexy out of 5