Jackass: Best and Last (2026)

Fun fact: I've seen every Jackass film on opening night since the first one was released in 2002. I love this stuff. It hits on a universal truth. It's only funny if it doesn't happen to you. You can't go into a movie called Jackass expecting high art. That's your first mistake. Once you meet it on its own level, you can enjoy the shenanigans. If you laugh, you don't get to claim the moral high ground.

We're all getting fucking old. None is more true than for the Jackass crew, who has put their bodies through the wringer over the past 25 years. Now in their 50s, they reflect back on their career highlights and lowlights, with a showcase of old footage and new. Disappointingly, it becomes a glorified clip show, with the new content being minimal and played a bit too safe. It's mostly a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but the Jackass farewell deserved better. 

This is far from the best that Jackass has to offer. Jackass Forever was a much better send-off for this crew. 25 years goes out with a whimper, not a bang.

2 peanut butter rectal exams out of 5

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES [2014]

Some people have a fetish for having folks toss shit in their faces.  They laugh, scream and squeal with glee.
I think I have that sort of fetish only the type of shit I like tossed in my direction comes in the form of bad films.
Director Jonathan Liebesman's live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick falls directly into that category.  Megan Fox & four CGI mutant turtles fight William Fichtner and some sort of ridiculously souped-up Shredder that's a cross between Darth Vader and Bayformer's Megatron.  That's about all you need to know to get the idea.  It's not the "raped my childhood" travesty internerds thougth it would be nor is it even that good, it's just a briskly paced action film that offers no real surprises and murders a few of your precious brain-cells.

2 hidden stashes of Orange Crush out of 5

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA [2013]

Director Jeff Tremain, co-writer Spike Jonze & star Johnny Knoxville bring the antics of their Jackass old man to his own film in Bad Grandpa.
While still using hidden camera antics, they decide to stitch together a loose story about Grandpa, his recently deceased wife's corpse & his grandson on a road-trip leaving a trail of chaos along the way.  It might still be the cheap Jackass humor of before but occasionally it's brilliant shit-your-pants funny...literally. Knoxville's not nearly as smart or as good as Sacha Baron Cohen when it comes to this schtick he's just as ready to dive in face first and sometimes that's just enough.

2½ Cherry Pies out of 5

SMALL APARTMENTS [2012]

Director Jonas Åkerlund's insanely weird black comedy Small Apartments is the type of film that could fall flat on it's face if not for it's perfect casting of each character.
It centers around Matt Lucas as a strange little bald man, who lives alone (with the exception of his landlord's corpse) and wears nothing but his undies & a new wig with each venture into the cruel world that surrounds him.  Åkerlund seems to have a firm grasp on his characters, as each aren't particularly great people but all are interesting and sympathetic.  The only problem is the narrative occasionally loses it's balance with some wonky pacing.  All in all, it's an enjoyable, sad and thoughtful quirky comedy that disturbs just as much as it makes you laugh.

3½ merkins out of 5

THE LAST STAND [2013]

Director Kim Ji-Wong makes his American debut with the ridiculously violent Arnold Schwarzenegger film, The Last Stand.
It plays like a formulaic American action film with cool cars, loud shootouts, gorgeous girls, groanworthy sight gags and bone-crunching fist fights.  However it also includes some creative camerawork, unusually well-timed action sequences and shots of subtle humour to please fans of the director's previous work.  More like a modern day Western, this is an Arnie film done right, now matter how aged ol' Leatherface has become.

3 Atlantean broad swords out of 5

MEN IN BLACK II [2002]

Tommy Lee Jones & Will Smith reprise their roles as Agents J & K in this dismal 2002 sequel to the sci-fi comedy Men In Black.  

All the same elements of the first film are here only this time it simply just doesn't work.  What was a perfect blend of silly, bizarre and creative, is all pulverized into an uneven pile of mush in the second film.  Set in New York,  MIB II fell victim to heavy edits because of 9/11 and the Two Towers originally being featured quite heavily in the original cut, so that might have a lot to do with the sloppy mess that it is. 

...and Lara Flynn Boyle just plain sucks.

2 Rick Fuck Yeah Baker is the STAR out of 5

The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

Nary a titter did this piece of shit give me. I came away still in love with Lynda Carter even though she's my Mom's age, and a desire for a day full of AC/DC, so I guess I should give it half a point for that.

0½ Chucklehead yee-haws out of 5