GODZILLA [1998]

I don't know how he pulled it off but director Roland Emmerich managed to make a Godzilla film dreadfully boring.

After years of pressuring, Toho studios finally agreed to allow Hollywood to take their beloved franchise and turn it into something resembling Godzilla in name only.
To the average movie goer who's never seen a Godzilla film, they're simply about a giant lizard that destroys cities and that's exactly what you get here.  There's no subtext, depth or thematic subtleties floating around here and "big lizard destroys New York" is about all you get in this shallow excuse for a good time.  It's a big, loud and unforgivably soulless shitfest that was clearly a money-hungry attempt to ride on the tails of Jurassic Park.

1 mutant earthworm out of 5

MIRROR MIRROR [2012]

Director Tarsem Singh delivers yet another visually stunning feast for the eyes with his strange adaptation of the Snow White story, Mirror Mirror.
Here we have Snow enlisting the aid of seven tiny rebels to fight against the power-hungry queen and a savage beast that dwells deep within the forest that surrounds the poverty-stricken kingdom.
Singh is no stranger to astonishingly beautiful set-pieces and intricate costume designs but sadly he never seems to shy away from wafer-thin scripts and laughable melodrama.  Fortunately, as a first for Singh, he's inserted some humor into his storytelling and, although, funny, it almost always feels out of place from the rest of the film.  Nothing seems to comfortably fall into place with each other and ends up making for a very uneven mess.  As imaginative and original as it all is, you can't help but feel that everyone involved were all working on a different film.

2½ stilts out of 5