MaXXXine (2024)

"In this business, until you're known as a monster, you're not a star." -Bette Davis

The third in the "X" series, though it is not necessary to watch every entry in order to follow along. While the first movie was an homage to '70s slasher flicks and the second was a dark melodrama reminiscent of 1950s Douglas Sirk, this third entry goes straight for the era of gaudy '80s excess with heavy giallo influences. 

Maxine arrives in Hollywood in 1985 in order to pursue her dreams of becoming a horror actress (and leave her sordid past behind). In the meanwhile, there is a leather-clad serial killer going around knocking off all her colleagues. Mia Goth once again steals the show as the young ingénue and proves to be the best part of this series, even though this entry features a lot of fun nods and peeks behind the curtain. 

Originally envisioned as a trilogy by creator Ti West, he now admits he's left it open to revisit in the future, though this film more or less provides a satisfying close.

3½ Bates Motels out of 5

MIRROR MIRROR [2012]

Director Tarsem Singh delivers yet another visually stunning feast for the eyes with his strange adaptation of the Snow White story, Mirror Mirror.
Here we have Snow enlisting the aid of seven tiny rebels to fight against the power-hungry queen and a savage beast that dwells deep within the forest that surrounds the poverty-stricken kingdom.
Singh is no stranger to astonishingly beautiful set-pieces and intricate costume designs but sadly he never seems to shy away from wafer-thin scripts and laughable melodrama.  Fortunately, as a first for Singh, he's inserted some humor into his storytelling and, although, funny, it almost always feels out of place from the rest of the film.  Nothing seems to comfortably fall into place with each other and ends up making for a very uneven mess.  As imaginative and original as it all is, you can't help but feel that everyone involved were all working on a different film.

2½ stilts out of 5

THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS: CITY OF BONES [2013]

Director Harald Zwart adapts City Of Bones for the screen, the first book in Cassandra Clare's youth oriented fantasy novels series, The Mortal Instruments.
It's a messy execution that is cluttered up with too much dead end background lore and a collection of way too many characters that serve next to nothing to the story.  As opposed to the overly mopy Twilight series, TMI tries to add in some cheeky one-liners to lighten the mood and although some of them are pretty funny they are in all the wrong spots.  There's simply just too much pointlessly tossed in to the simple story that is pretty much just an excuse to dress up pretty young people in skimpy Goth clothing.

2 tarot cards out of 5

THE ENGLISH TEACHER [2013]

TV director Craig Zisk dips into the theatrical world with the comedy/drama The English Teacher.
Julianne Moore leads the cast and does a wonderful job as always, allowing the viewer to easily care for her character.  Greg Kinnear, Nathan Lane, Lilly Collins and Michael Angarano all play their parts with charming charisma.  Each character is given believable life with their strengths and weaknesses, all of which are never fully resolved giving them more of a three dimensional heart than most light-hearted comedies like this.  However the film falls short with a resounding thud in the comedy department.  Apart from a few chuckles it wasn't particularly funny.  If not for the well-rounded cast I might have wandered out of the room looking for laughs elsewhere.

3 pepper sprays to the face out of 5