Evil Dead Burn (2026)

They're just releasing Evil Dead films willy-nilly now. This doesn't even feel like the event film it should be...just a casual release dumped in the middle of summer. I guess it's safe to say this is now considered its own trilogy and not a series of reboots as I had assumed, since one has nothing to do with the other. However, it won't remain a trilogy for long, since it's already being followed by yet another standalone, Evil Dead Wrath. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Sébastien Vaniček has been handed the keys to the kingdom, along with a cast of relative unknowns. At a wake, tempers flare and the dead indeed remain evil. You want buckets of gore? Check. Ridiculous over-the-top situations? Check. Despite the presence of the Necronomicon, Kandarian Dagger and a double dose of buzzsaws, this doesn't feel much like Evil Dead to me. It's too serious, too angry, too intense. It feels more like torture porn at this point, which was never the point of this series. Trading brutality for any sense of character development or story, it merely becomes a series of horrifying scenarios. Weirdly, it reminded me a lot of that Mummy movie from a few months back. Still, I'm of two minds about it; I enjoy the sheer balls of it, but feel like it's simply going through the motions. I really despise this blatant bastardization of the original Evil Dead brand. It's just not fun anymore.

2½ jackhammers out of 5

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Evil Dead in a high-rise building. Another standalone entry in the series, this one aims to go darker places, which was never solely the charm of the original movies for me. While the Deadites are memorable, it's missing the hero at the center of it, and Bruce Campbell only has a small uncredited role as a voice on a recording. Unfortunately, this is one of those movies where the trailer ruins absolutely everything about it, so make sure to go into it blind for best results.

3 cheese graters out of 5

Evil Head (2012)

"I'll swallow your pole!"

In this case, when the girls get possessed, they become insatiably horny. Doesn't seem like such a bad deal to me. Just throw a bag over their head and you're good to go. If you've ever wanted to see a girl get double penetrated by a tree (and like it), this is your movie. Ash's hand becomes possessed after he fingers her, etc. There's red-dyed Karo corn syrup everywhere, which must make it pretty sticky with all the lube and juices. 

Tommy Pistol plays Ash Williams, and he's the perfect goofy jackass to do it. He has the right physicality and sometimes copies Bruce Campbell's moves beat for beat. The parody material is fun, but sadly, the sex scenes are very boring. I hate when the parody acting stops and it becomes a straight porno. It's more fun when they stay in character the whole time. It's entertaining apart from the overly drawn out sex scenes, ironically enough.

Features a fun brief voice cameo by Lloyd Kaufman as the voice on the tape. Which just goes to show they know who their built-in audience is.

2 Necronomicum ex Mortis out of 5

Note: There is an unrelated movie sequel called Evil Head: Dead by Dong, which I couldn't find, but it's a great fucking title.

EVIL DEAD [2013]

Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell & Roger G. Tapert, the lunatics who brought you the camp cult classic The Evil Dead give their producing stamp of approval on director Fede Alvarez's psychotic remake, simply titled Evil Dead. 

Overflowing with shockingly gory sequences and disturbing violence, the film surprisingly has a wickedly dark, DARK sense of humour I found absent in the trailers.  It's been a long time since a horror film has been this bloody and fun, without sacrificing it's substance over style.  Like the original, it aims to shock and it does so with flying colors, pleasing this gorehound who was cautious going into this remake.  Apparently Raimi wants to combine the character of Ash with the surviving character of this film into a future story, which makes me wonder if this is really a remake or sequel.

3½ "drug withdrawls" out of 5

Army of Darkness (1992)

AKA: Evil Dead 3

The third in the Evil Dead saga, this was also the first movie of the series that I saw. As a standalone film, it's a rollicking fun action-comedy (with traces of horror), but as the third part of a trilogy, it is a brilliant conclusion. Seek out the original ending rather than the re-shot U.S. ending (both are equally satisfying, but the original is oh so tragically wonderful). I've seen this movie so many times, I can quote it from heart, and it never fails to put a smile on my face.

5? "...whoa, whoa, whoa...nobody said anything about 5" out of 5

Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)

This sequel is one of the funniest films I've ever encountered, and it only gets better and better with time. Bruce Campbell dishes out his best slapstick and one-liners, and you can't help but feel that the whole thing was inspired by old Three Stooges shorts. A horror-comedy for the ages. Leads directly into Army of Darkness, but for about 5 years or so, it just lay there in limbo à la The Empire Strikes Back.

5 eyeballs in the mouth out of 5

The Evil Dead (1981)

The horror classic that started it all for me. Five friends drive to a cabin in the woods and are terrorized by malevolent spirits that they unwittingly release back from the dead. An over-the-top gore fest dripping with blood and cheesy laughs. The last 15 minutes are still some of the best in cinema. The beginning of both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell's careers, and there couldn't have been a better marriage.

5 Necronomicons out of 5