Masters of the Universe (2026)

I should preface this nut by stating that I don't have a very strong connection to the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe franchise. As with G.I. Joe and Transformers, it was a cartoon designed to sell a toy line. I never really found the premise too deep. Aside from owning a single He-Man action figure as a kid, I have no nostalgic ties to the character or the canon, which makes me the perfect guinea pig to test out the new direction of this latest reimagining.

Young Prince Adam is, by all accounts, a pussy (not unlike Cringer). When the evil Skeletor threatens Eternia, his royal parents send him to Earth (not unlike Kal-El) along with the Sword of Power, which he promptly loses. 15 years later, he tracks it down and returns to claim his birthright. So far, so good, right?

This movie is frustrating because of how much it does right. Visually, it looks amazing. The scale is epic, rich and powerful. The action scenes are dynamic and exciting. The soundtrack is fucking rocking, courtesy of Brian May from Queen (lots of nods to Highlander). However, tonally, it's weird and all over the fucking place. Everything is treated as a joke. Adam never really changes; even when harnessing the power of Grayskull, he's still the same loser except with half the wardrobe. Teela is the one to show him the ropes and assumes the position of power over him and her father, the drunken and disgraced Man-At-Arms. Skeletor looks way better than his 1987 representation yet still feels hugely underdeveloped. Evil-Lyn is hot and that's about the extent of her role.

What I can't forgive is the neutered characterization of Adam (as a modern day he-man in touch with his emotions), even as it attempts to address and criticize toxic masculinity. But it's simply not fun. In every other way, it blows the 1987 film out of the water. Yet it could have been so much better. Its sole purpose for existing seems primarily intended to bait Doc and Neg back out of hiding.

2½ fistings out of 5

Together (2025)

A couple on the rocks (played by real life husband and wife team Dave Franco and Alison Brie) find that they can't seem to stay apart from one another. Like with Companion, it's hard to talk about this film without giving anything away, so I've chosen the most generic poster I could find and I recommend you stay away from all the promotional material because it's a lot more fun that way. Suffice to say, it's a two-hander that will have you crawling out of your skin.

3½ muscle relaxants out of 5

GET HARD [2015]

Some tiny little voice in my head told me that director Etan Cohen's wasted opportunity of a Will Ferrell/Kevin Hart comedy Get Hard might actually be funny.
I've since shot that tiny little voice in the back of the head and left him to rot deep in the woods.

1 mad dog out of 5

HARMONTOWN [2014]

Director Neil Berkeley, who documented the life of oddball artist Wayne White in Beauty Is Embarrassing, focuses his attention on another creative misfit, Community creator Dan Harmon, in Harmontown.
After being fired from his own television series, Harmon took his experimental podcast series on the road to meet his adoring fans, all the while learning many painful things about himself.   The film makes no attempt to candy coat the man's boorishness, alcoholism and constant need to clash with everybody (including himself) but that's the part that makes him all the more interesting and easy to relate.  I went in expecting to dislike Harmon a bit more while still adoring his rapid-fire wit and creativity, instead I came out astonished by the emotional punches it pulled.  Fans of Harmon will most likely get the most out of this film but there's still some characteristics and moments I think everyone could learn from.

3½ human hand grenades out of 5

THE LEGO MOVIE [2014]

From director/writers Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (the guys behind Clone High, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and the 21 Jumpstreet films), The Lego Movie seems like it would be one big commercial to sell more toys.
However with Lord & Miller's background one can expect a high-energy, colorfully told story with plenty of tongue-in-cheek moments of snappy dialogue and sight gags all wrapped in a big well-placed heart.
At times it's just a bit too schmalzty and simplistic to really be as smart as some of it's CGI animated counterparts but it's got enough flair to never lose it's enjoyability.
...and let's face it, folks, didn't we all want to see Batman for the douchey ass that he really is?

3 weird cat things out of 5

THE KINGS OF SUMMER [2013]

Jordan Vogt-Roberts' feature length theatrical debut is the quirky coming of age dramedy The Kings Of Summer.
It's the story of three teenage boys who decide to build a house in the middle of the woods to live in, in order to escape the rules under their parent's roofs.  At times it seems to go overboard with the forced quirkiness but it provides enough laughs and likable characters to be highly enjoyable.  There's some beautiful photography, great music and a strong cast that makes this light-hearted drama well worth seeking out.

4 big wontons out of 5

THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT [2012]

Director Nicholas Stoller adds another predictable yet charming funny film to his resume with the romantic comedy The Five-Year Engagement.

The chemistry between Jason Segel and Emily Blunt is great and never gets too mushy, with the help of some great supporting roles from Chris Pratt and Alison Brie.  With enough laughs and down-to-earth situations the film is a pretty safe bet for anyone that vomits at the the mere mention of rom-coms and needs something with just enough flair and attitude to ease the pain. 

3 Bunny Days out of 5

SCRE4M [2011]

After getting over the initial disappointment of not living up to the first Scream, like the cast & crew interviews kept on promising it would, I found the fourth installment of the popular Wes Craven slasher flick franchise to be an entertaining ride upon a second viewing.
While not meeting it's full potential, it is light years better than the third one and just trailing in behind the first two films. It never makes full use of the killer using the updated technology to his advantage, like he would have in the original films or really acknowledging the huge change in horror cinema since the last one came out over 10 years ago. There are a few moments of using blogs, webcams, phone apps and poking fun at remakes, reboots and torture porn but not as much as it could have been and that was a little disappointing. The new cast was a hoot to watch, although some were painfully underused or killed off too early. With the hugest body count so far in the series, slasher flick fans and gorehounds won't be disappointed.
It's still fun and I hope the next two patch up the mistakes this one made.

3 Robert Rodriguez "cameos" out of 5