GET HARD [2015]

Some tiny little voice in my head told me that director Etan Cohen's wasted opportunity of a Will Ferrell/Kevin Hart comedy Get Hard might actually be funny.
I've since shot that tiny little voice in the back of the head and left him to rot deep in the woods.

1 mad dog out of 5

The Osterman Weekend (1983)

A government agency seeks to use one man to catch a group of others in a game of cat and mouse. Or is it cat and cat? Maybe it’s mouse and mouse?
It’s an adaptation of a Robert Ludlum novel, so there are the usual scenes of important men getting nervous over dodgy dealings and a twisty-turny ending. It makes you aware that not everyone sees friendship in the same way, and may even stir you to question if the people who claim to be your friends really are when they aren't beside you.
There’s an unusual car chase and a few scattered moments where Peckinpah piqued my interest technically, but, despite a strong cast his cinematic swansong isn't as memorable as much of what preceded it.

2½ trophy hunters out of 5

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

After relocation the Freelings have returned to happy family mode, but the memory of the ordeal remains and the evil isn't finished with Carol Anne just yet because sequels make easy money.
The addition of a creepy old guy, the fork-tongued Rev. Kane (Julian Beck), gave us someone to fear and enabled the back-story of Cuesta Verde to be expanded. Adding ‘The Other Side’ to the title was another good move; it provided intrigue and teased the notion that we might actually get to see it this time. We do, but it's the epitome of anticlimactic.

3 grabby hands out of 5

Poltergeist (1982)

The 80s had an abundance of supernatural movies and Poltergeist is one of the best. It takes the typical 'two point four with dog' and puts them through a well-paced hell of missing child, evil controlling entity and flying toys. There's a good balance of atmosphere and visual effects and the little girl, Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke), is excellent in her role.
There’s no doubt the framing and camera movements are more a product of Spielberg's vision than Hooper's, but the end product is what counts.

4 frequencies out of 5

SOUL SURFER [2011]

I was prepared for melodramatic sap in Soul Surfer but not the Christian morals shoved down my throat.

Based on the true story of surfer Bethany Hamilton who lost an arm in a shark attack and her struggle to go back to what she loved.  The film depicts a world where all the pretty blond girls are good & the dark haired ones are bad and if you have faith in God everything will be all right. What a crock of horseshit.

Apart from AnnaSophia Robb's inspiring performance and composer Marco Beltrami's ability to tone down the melodrama with his uniquely simplistic score, this film should be avoided if you're not a braindead zombie.

2 one-armed push-ups out of 5

Devil's Advocate (1997)

Keanu steps out of his comfort zone and plays a smart guy for a change. He does it well, which is doubly impressive as he shares screen time with Al Pacino and still manages to impress. Pacino gets to overact as usual, but the role calls for that kind of hoo-hah, so it’s most welcome. The film has some great dialogue and if not for the facepalm ending (which admittedly would've worked well on paper, but sucks ass on screen) I'd have scored it higher. Hit stop five minutes before the end and make it a better film.

3½ money turns people into assholes out of 5