Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026)

Picking up immediately after the events of the first film (a bold move after 7 years, but Samara Weaving remains ageless), a new syndicate is after Grace, looking to settle the score with a fresh game of H&S. Poor timing for Grace to meet up with her estranged kid sister/emergency contact Faith. It's more of the same mindless blood and guts, but it's fun if you're in a playful mood.

3 washing machines out of 5

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

A lonely girl romanticizes the gravesite of a young man who died 150 years prior. After pouring her heart out to him, a bolt of lightning strikes and brings him back as an undead creature. The rub? He can't speak and he's missing multiple body parts. So Lisa goes on a spree to complete her "creation."

This Gothic horror-comedy owes a lot of its inspiration and feel to the works of Tim Burton. It has a distinctly '80s vibe throughout and is a helluva lot darker than I was expecting for PG-13, especially given all the sexual references and casual murder. It's a weird movie though, and I liked that it tried to be something different. Kathryn Newton is inspired in the eponymous role. I'm sure it'll develop into something of a cult film, like a lot of Diablo Cody's work tends to do. Plus it was directed by Zelda Williams—daughter of Robin—in her first feature-length film, so it seems like she has a promising career ahead of her.

3 tanning beds out of 5

Abigail (2024)

A group of criminals kidnap a young dancer and hold her hostage at a lavish estate while attempting to extort her father for a huge ransom. When the girl informs them that he has no intention of paying, they get cold feet and attempt to leave, tripping the security system and sealing them inside the secluded manor which happens to contain an evil, mysterious presence within.

Oh, wait...you mean all the posters and promotional materials spoiled this initial twist? Yeah, the little girl just happens to be a vampire ballerina who delights in playing with her prey and picking them off one by one. This one doesn't do anything special, but it's fun if you're in the right mood for a rip-roaring horror-comedy.

2½ deadly pirouettes out of 5

Freaky (2020)

A teenage girl swaps bodies with a homicidal maniac in this horror twist on the ol' Freaky Friday formula. If it sounds dumb, that's because it is, but it's the kind of dumb fun that remains consistently entertaining throughout due to the combination of its charismatic leads and a healthy dose of self-aware humor. The kills aren't bad either, if you're in it for the slasher angle.

3 beaver mascots out of 5

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 [2012]

The 4th film in the inane Paranormal Activity series might just be for the diehard fans only.

It offers nothing but a few lukewarms scares and some interesting new gimmicks but simply not enough to shake things up a little.  Thankfully the lead character and her friend aren't written as the usual spoiled teenage bitch & douchebag and instead come off as smart & easy to like. Be sure to check back sometime later this year for a Nut of the 5th film because, well, I like torturing myself for your sake, gentle reader.  

1 X-box Kinect pixel dot out of 5