Remarkably Bright Creatures (2026)

"Why can humans not use their millions of words to simply tell one another what they desire?"

A lonely, aging cleaning woman befriends the octopus in her aquarium's exhibit tank while training her impetuous young replacement. It's a light dramedy with some heavy themes, not likely to ruffle many feathers (or tangle any tentacles), but it's pleasant enough in its familiar execution.

3 camouflage patterns out of 5

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

It took them a decade to come up with a sequel, by which point the original had developed into something of a cult classic. This time it's almost exactly the same plot, except now it's a four piece family unit rather than two. This is more of a straight slasher rather than the atmospheric build up of the first film. There are a couple of neat sequences that make this more memorable than your average horror fare, but it's still the same sadistic, senseless violence.

2 porch lights out of 5

Thunderbolts* (2025)

Jesus Christ, are we into the summer blockbuster season already?

The latest tentpole from Marvel takes a page out of indie studio A24's book with a more intimate, character-based approach, which is a huge improvement in my opinion. It follows up and reunites characters from Black Widow (Yelena Belova, Red Guardian, Taskmaster), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes, John Walker/U.S. Agent) and others (Ghost) in a team-up ensemble flick meant to evoke The Avengers, except on a much smaller scale. I'm more fond of this ragtag group of losers and misfits (akin to Guardians of the Galaxy) than even the "serious" heroes. But it's so much more than the sum of all its parts. At the center of the story is a mysterious new character known only as "Bob."

This was so enjoyable compared to Brave New World. Sometimes the MCU can still surprise you, even 36 films into it. This is the final installment of Phase 5; to be followed by The Fantastic Four: First Steps, due later in the summer.

3 taco shields out of 5

Riff Raff (2024)

Ed Harris plays a reformed criminal in a blended family who is inconvenienced when his former wife, his son and his bride-to-be come to visit, who are being hunted down by two relentless hitmen that make their lives a living hell. As a dark comedic thriller, this movie is a bit of a mess in its feeble and meandering execution. I'm not sure how this even landed in theaters because it screams direct-to-streaming to me. Even the bumbling team of Bill Murray and Pete Davidson (never thought those two would be paired together) left me wanting more. And poor Jennifer Coolidge just seems like she's typecast at this point.

Also, not sure why they ripped off the theme to Howard Shore's After Hours.

2 guys named Roger out of 5

'Salem's Lot (2024)

If you don't talk about it, maybe it's not happening.

Stephen King adaptations just won't stay dead.

A vampire descends on the little town of Jerusalem's Lot, spreading its disease from one inhabitant to another, in the third screen version of King's seminal work (after the 1979 and 2004 miniseries). This time, they condense the story down to a span of two hours, and end up removing a lot of character development and suspense along with it, reducing it to a series of plot beats and jump scares. It reminds me of why King adaptations usually work, when they're actually given enough space and allowed to breathe. I'm much more partial to the earlier TV version as far as capturing that time period with any authenticity. This one is just plain dull and forgettable. If you've seen one vampire flick, you've seen 'em all.

2 glowing crosses out of 5

Skincare (2024)

Loosely based on a true story, successful L.A. aesthetician Hope Goldman suspects her rival neighboring business of sabotage. Beginning with her accounts getting hacked and her reputation tarnished, she is continually stalked and harassed, leading to a loss of valuable clientele and a spot on the local news. The police prove to be useless, so at the risk of losing her entire company stake, she endeavors to take matters into her own hands.

I thought this was decent enough for a "true crime" thriller, although it became clear to me who was pulling the strings through simple process of elimination. For the record, Elizabeth Banks's skin looks incredible for 50. I'd buy that for a dollar.

2½ touch-ups out of 5