72 Hours (2026)

After mistakenly being added to a Gen Z group chat, a struggling marketing executive decides to take them up on their offer to go on a bachelor party to Miami while agreeing to bankroll their holiday, in hopes of better connecting with the youth demographic. What this means for the viewer is a lot of ageist jokes that go both ways. I'm ashamed to admit it made me laugh on more than one occasion, particularly in the second half when it starts to pick up the pace. But don't get me wrong, this is a very dumb comedy of the Kevin Hart variety.

1½ whale dicks out of 5

I Want Your Sex (2026)

A lucky son of a bitch gets the opportunity of a lifetime to be the object of Olivia Wilde's sexual degradation. I'm not sure why male fantasies always have to be depicted so tragically. Of course, we have the dead fish girlfriend, the hot best friend who he never sees as a romantic option, but the woman he wants the most is emotionally unavailable and exploits him to fulfill her own perverted power trip. Where's the harm in that? Anyway, it's a "sexy" comedy that only hits the mark half the time, and had me rolling my eyes for the rest.

2½ slaves to the vagina out of 5

Scream 7 (2026)

Holy shit, there's 7 of them now? These movies have come a long way. After a number of fits and starts, including losing most of the new, younger cast they hired for the reboot several years back, the franchise falls back on nostalgia for its next legacy sequel, putting Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) back front and center, as well as familiar faces from the past. Does any of it make sense? We're long past that now. Series creator Kevin Williamson is in the director's seat this time, paying homage to Wes Craven in a back to basics format that's straight to the point, while basically providing fan service in spades. It's so self-aware, it almost feels like a parody of itself at this point. However, it's head and shoulders above the previous entry, so it's all right in my book.

2½ beer taps out of 5

Scream VI (2023)

That went off the rails quickly. Clearly, pushing these out every year does not work to its advantage. This is a cheap, lazy sequel which lacks almost all the charm of the previous entry. That's nothing to say of the movie itself, which was completely forgettable, and worse yet, predictable on many counts. The motives for these killings continue to keep getting thinner and thinner, and we as the audience have to excuse a lot of ridiculous hand-waving in order for any of it to work.

If not for the talent pool of this cast, it would get a much lower score. Just don't go into it with any set of expectations.

1½ catfishes out of 5

Scream (2022)

AKA: Scream V

As a jaded horror fan, I actually enjoyed this one quite a bit. I'm not sure if I'm letting my defenses down lately, but I don't think it was worse than any of the other sequels. The leads (especially the sisters played by Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega) were very well cast and I believed their relationship. I didn't anticipate the twists either, so it was a success in that regard.

It's not as slick and stylish as it was under the direction of Wes Craven, but it still manages to capture the ethos of the time it was made in. This volume introduces the idea of the "requel"—i.e. the reboot/sequel to a legacy series—which this film also represents (meta as always). 

3 toxic online comments out of 5