The Shepherd (2023)

A pilot on his way home for Christmas gets lost mid-flight when his aircraft suffers a complete electrical failure, stranding him high above water. Running low on fuel, with no working equipment and zero visibility, the pilot attempts flying in a triangular pattern in the vain hope of being located on radar to alert other aircrafts of his presence and guide him home. It's a sad, sweet tale that reminded me of an episode of Amazing Stories. Based on the 1975 novella of the same name.

3 miracles needed out of 5

Battlefield Earth (2000)

aka Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000

Given BE's shitty reputation I expected bad acting or incompetent editing, but what struck me as the worst aspect was the direction! Bloody hell, the word 'amateur' doesn’t apply — it could aspire to that — it's downright atrocious. The majority of the film is shot in canted angles, which makes no rational sense, adding nothing of value to the story. If I'd not been viewing it in a 2.35:1 ratio (on DVD, bought for 10p sealed from a charity shop) I'd have thought there were shenanigans afoot because the blundering CUs make it look like an unwatchable 'zoomed-in to avoid copyright detection' video on YouTube. Oh, and yes, the editing and acting, especially Travolta, are mostly awful, too. Even the 'so bad it's good' category has standards, which BE didn't meet.

0 rat meals out of 5

IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE [2016]

Director Ti West, known mostly for horror movies, takes a dedicated shot at the Western genre with the gritty revenge tale of In a Valley of Violence.
A moody stranger, and his awesome dog, saunter into a penniless town and get into a scuffle with the wrong folks: the Marshal's dim-witted hot-headed son and his gang of equally brain-dead hooligans.
There's no re-invention of the wheel here but we are spoiled with solid storytelling, acting and an yet another excellent film score from Jeff Grace.  James Ransone, Karen Gillan, Burn Gorman and Jumpy the Dog all offer tongue-in-cheek performances that you know they're all having a great ol' time, while Ethan Hawke, Taissa Farmiga and Travolta all play it straight which suits the tale just fine.  West's faithful traditional Western won't fill seats in the cinema but it will certainly please fans of genre looking for a good time.

4 wooden legs out of 5

Blow Out (1981)

It’s made clear at the beginning of the film that the senses we use to filter out lies from truth can themselves deceive us. It’s a double-edged reveal that draws viewers into the narrative quickly but makes them aware of the techniques employed to achieve the manipulation. Each person will need to find their own comfortable balance in order to enjoy what comes afterwards.
Jack (Travolta) is a B-Movie sound guy. His trained ear is witness to what may or may not be a murder, but getting others to believe it proves to be difficult.
One of the people he tries to persuade is Sally (Nancy Allen). I like Nancy but she didn't convince me she was the air-head stereotype the script portrayed her as; that's a compliment from the opposite perspective.
De Palma’s trademark 360° camera movement is taken to the next level in one unforgettable scene. Just thinking about it makes me grin.

3½ isolated screams out of 5

Pulp Fiction (1994)

QT’s second film is a nonlinear collection of about half a dozen stories that overlap in interesting ways, even though none of them really go anywhere meaningful. On one hand it’s deserving of being pulped, but the performances, dialogue and love shown to established filmic techniques (rear projection car rides, long tracking shots, split-focus lens and even a McGuffin) are indulgently entertaining. It’s not unlike the tasty burger that Sam Jackson makes a big deal over in one of the stories: it’s constructed from chopped up pieces and satisfies for a brief time. However, at 154 minutes I do feel that it pushes against the limits of acceptability for that kind of thing.

4 moral tests of oneself out of 5

Staying Alive (1983)

Sylvester Stallone co-wrote and directed this story of a boxer dancer trying to make it big in the ring on Broadway. It's a sequel to Saturday Night Fever (1977) that picks up the story of Tony Manero five years after SNF ended. He's still a sexist prick, but the city is slowly changing him.
Beneath the leotards and leggings the Stallone influence is everywhere, from the cover art, where JT looks like he's playing Rambo in an am-dram production, right down to the way Tony the underdog delivers his Rocky-esque lines; the two men also appear to share the same barber.
There's less unintentional humour this time, but the last two minutes caused me to lose my shit and break down into painful hysterics.

2 playthings out of 5

THE THIN RED LINE [1998]

Director Terrence Malick's adaptation of James Jones' WWII novel The Thin Red Line loosely follows the savage Battle Of Mt. Austen in the Pacific Theater.
It explores the beauty of life, earth and love and completely contrasts that with insanity, destruction and unexplainable hatred.  It shifts between startling beauty and frenzied ugliness through it's stunning photography, wonderful acting, thoughtful monologues and what I'd consider some of the best work composer Hans Zimmer has ever written.  It doesn't serve the viewer a standard story like Saving Private Ryan did the same year but instead asks the audience to search their hearts for the emotional core of the narrative.

5 flickering flames out of 5

BOLT [2008]

Disney Animations Studios' 49th film Bolt is a crowd pleaser front to back.
It's a fast-paced colorful, gentle, funny and sentimental adventure without ever feeling forced or too much.  While it is obvsiouly aimed for the kids, adults might get a few good laughs at the excellent dialogue, hilariously detailed animation and film-making moments in the story.  It's nice to see Disney go back to it's old family friendly feel rather than some of their more recent "edgy" comedic films.

3½ boom mics in the shot out of 5 

Broken Arrow (1996)

One of John Woo's American films. It’s light on the traditional Woo motifs, meaning it has little to interest his fans. Instead, it appealed to a popcorn-munching audience who prefer to see a helicopter blow up than a protagonist torn between duty and honour.

2 bad actors and a rabble of butterflies out of 5

Swordfish (2001)

Travolta embarrasses himself with a silly line of hair on his chin. Everyone else has to work a little harder at it, but still manage to embarrass themselves one way or another. Hugh Jackman uses a keyboard like the rest of us play air guitar. Don’t be fooled, there are no fish in the film. It's a Joel Silver production, so there are some boring explosions and dumb plot threads flaffing in the wind. Don't watch sober.

2 ball-bearing jackets out of 5

Be Cool (2005)

A sequel to Get Shorty (1995).
Uma outside of a Tarantino film is nearly always going to fail. This does.
Even The Rock and his eyebrow can't save it.

1 cameo too far out of 5

Carrie (1976)

No synopsis this time. I'm not even using the English language DVD cover because it's 100% spoiler. All I'll say is I don't consider Carrie a horror film but rather a coming of age thriller that raises the bar of everyone involved. Sissy Spacek as Carrie White gives the finest performance I think I've ever witnessed in any film by anyone, ever; she's terrifyingly believable.
Piper Laurie infuses her role with an unforgettable power and intensity.
It's the first and one of the best Stephen King adaptations, second only perhaps to The Shining (1980). Although, in truth, some days I simply can't decide which one I think is the better film, so let's call them equal.

5 Red light, Green light out of 5

Saturday Night Fever (1977)

Travolta is an arrogant asshole in this 70’s disco dance fest. His blunt put downs of the women that flock around him are hysterical. And so was his dancing, it was piss-inducing funny. I couldn't take any of it seriously in the first half. Favourite moment: at the dinner table with his family JT gets protective of his hair.
I don’t dance, I don’t go to discos and I don’t like the Bee Gees, but strip all that away and there's enjoyment to be had in the character growth, even if there are threads left dancing in the wind all over the place by the end.

3 don't hurt your pussy finger out of 5