Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Everyone remembers this film for stoner slacker Spicoli (Sean Penn), although he's very much the secondary character to all the ensemble drama around him.

Amy Heckerling's first film, based on the non-fiction book by Cameron Crowe (in which he posed as a high school senior for inspiration), is never quite as perfect as my memory of it purports to be, but it certainly captures the wild zeitgeist of American culture in the '80s. It's an iconic coming-of-age comedy with mammorable performances from Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates.

4 fapus interruptus out of 5

One Battle After Another (2025)

This film defies any easy explanation, so I won't even try. Loosely inspired by Thomas Pynchon's Viceland, Paul Thomas Anderson's sprawling three-hour crime epic covers a lot of ground. It's messy and takes a long fucking time to get going, but it's so close to greatness at times that I have to award it on that merit. Leonardo DiCaprio and Sean Penn's fucked up characters make this ride infinitely watchable. The whole is definitely greater than the sum of its parts.

4 boners under duress out of 5

The Game (1997)

On paper the story (and plotting) of The Game seem interesting, but at two+ hours it's a case of too much for too long - it needed some major tightening up. And for about 80% of the running time Michael Douglas didn't hold my attention. He stars as an investment banker (read: wanker) who signs up to participate in a life-changing 'game' that he knows almost nothing about, and in order to keep the mystery of that situation I feel obliged to say nothing more about it. It's a decision that seems out of character for him, to begin with, and while things remedy somewhat as they go on the random/not random happenings and his response to them left me bored and sleepy. The film gambles on the notion that a twisty pay-off will make up for a protracted middle; its popularity suggests that for many folks it does, but it didn't for me.

2½ deeper understandings out of 5

Carlito's Way (1993)

In one of Pacino’s best roles he attempts to go straight after being released early from a lengthy prison sentence. His efforts aren't entirely successful, in part because the old story of needing capital in order to build a better life and wanting it sooner rather than later attracts him. The quickest way to get the cash is to return to the streets on which he made his name.
His struggle is compounded by his lingering reputation and the people around him spiralling into dangerous waters, threatening to drag him down with them. One of whom is Sean Penn, acting his socks off as a lawyer on the edge.
I don’t completely agree with people who say it’s just another Scarface (1983), but it’s certainly similar in many ways and if you enjoy one then you’ll more than likely enjoy the other.

4½ walks on the wild side of memory lane out of 5

Casualties of War (1989)

To paraphrase an unknown source, I don’t know much about war films but I know what I like. CoW is high on the list of likes.
Michael J. Fox plays a G.I. with a conscience, uncomfortable witnessing his fellow soldiers act like a law unto themselves when far from base camp. They see VC in every foreign face, terrorising the people they’re supposed to be protecting. Tensions are high, fuelled by anger, stress and the overpowering nature of the environment. Once the human evil gets underway it becomes a harrowing journey that won’t quickly be forgotten.
Amazingly, it was the only film that actress Thuy Thu Le ever made. She’s so terrifyingly convincing that you’d think her a long-time professional.

4½ non-standard practices out of 5

THE THIN RED LINE [1998]

Director Terrence Malick's adaptation of James Jones' WWII novel The Thin Red Line loosely follows the savage Battle Of Mt. Austen in the Pacific Theater.
It explores the beauty of life, earth and love and completely contrasts that with insanity, destruction and unexplainable hatred.  It shifts between startling beauty and frenzied ugliness through it's stunning photography, wonderful acting, thoughtful monologues and what I'd consider some of the best work composer Hans Zimmer has ever written.  It doesn't serve the viewer a standard story like Saving Private Ryan did the same year but instead asks the audience to search their hearts for the emotional core of the narrative.

5 flickering flames out of 5

GANGSTER SQUAD [2013]

Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer brings journalist Paul Lieberman's pulp novel Gangster Squad: Covert Cops, the Mob, and the Battle for Los Angeles to the screen.
With it's impressive ensemble cast and hard-boiled Hollywoodland noir story you suspect Fleischer was attempting to replicate the success of L.A. Confidential but somehow misses the mark.  The characters are atrociously underdeveloped, the editing is terrible, the dialogue it both boring & forced and you'll predict the entire film only 5 minutes in.  As cliched as this uneven mess of a laughable film is, I can't really deny that it was entertaining as feck.  Check your brain at the door and you might find some light entertainment in it.

2½ toasty elevator rides down out of 5

THE CROSSING GUARD [1995]

Sitting in the director's chair, Sean Penn fumbles around with his own script in the clumsily executed drama The Crossing Guard.

Penn can't decide if this is a straight-faced drama or an artsy independent film and in turn hurts the narrative flow quite a bit.  To add salt to the wounds, his dialogue and dramatic arcs are so excruciatingly terrible they belong in a TV movie of the week.  There were several points where I wasn't sure if it was just really, really bad humour or Penn actually wanted us to take it's aimlessly bizarre moments seriously.  Even the impressive cast seems to be lost while performing a favour for their actor turned "director" friend.

1 "hilarious" bus ride out of 5

Mystic River (2003)

Eastwood assembled a great cast for this moody drama about three kids whose lives are forever connected due to an event in their past. Years later they are reunited in the same place. The acting is wonderful, and it was a joy to see something with old-school filmmaking values not reliant on modern camera trickery, but the story does drag on a bit at times.

3½ hurried beginnings with the wrong hair out of 5

The Interpreter (2005)

Nicole and Sean exchange bad dialogue for two whole hours. Nicole puts on a ridiculously contrived accent to see if Sean notices, but Sean doesn't, so she drops it half the time. Sean does some dramatic running in weird pants on the cover. By the end neither of them gives a damn about the plot and they muddle through two different endings, neither of which anyone involved, including the viewer, gave a shit about any more.

1 pervert at your window out of 5

The Tree of Life (2011)

Reclusive director Terrence Malick (who has only produced 5 features to date since 1973) brings us this brilliant, thought-provoking moodpiece in which nothing much happens, and yet everything happens. This includes a mesmerizing extended sequence depicting the birth and history of our universe (yes, there are even dinosaurs). In the main timeline of the film, we find Sean Penn's character reflecting back on his childhood years growing up, dealing with life, love, sex, death and everything in between. A very introspective and humbling cinematic experience.

5 Best of the Year out of 5