Monkeybone (2001)

An adult comedy about a soon to be super-successful cartoonist (Brendan Fraser) who has to contend with his animated creation for control of his own future. By 'adult' I mean that it's generally inappropriate for kids, not that it's mature or hard to follow. The titular Monkeybone is the 'zany' type of character that makes me twitch violently.
There's a lot of creativity on display in the designs and in how they're brought to life, including many different animation techniques that someone clearly put a lot of work into, but the actual film was probably more fun to make for all involved than it is for any discerning person to watch.

1½ nightmare tailwinds out of 5

STILL SCREAMING: THE ULTIMATE SCARY MOVIE RETROSPECTIVE [2011]

Celebrated horror journalist Ryan Turek's documentary, Still Screaming, pays tribute to the first three films in Wes Craven's popular Scream franchise.
It opens with a pointless and sloppily "first kill" scene that makes Scream 3's opening kill look inventive and then, gets into the juicy stuff that's filled with trivia and behind-the-scenes looks with interviews from cast & crew members and other popular folks in the genre.  As a dedicated fan to the series there was plenty I was already aware of but it gave just enough new tasty tidbits to keep me interested till the end.  Unlike most film documentaries of this type, it wisely doesn't just praise it's subjects but also is quite honest about a lot of the franchise's mistakes it made.  It's not going to win over any fans with this execution but will certainly make the nostalgic fan eager for a revisit to Woodsboro.

3 Scary Movies out of 5

DEATH PROOF [2007]

Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof is the 2nd half of the Robert Rodriguez/Tarantino Grindhouse double feature.
Tarantino's low budget ode to 70's exploitation slasher flicks should have been more fun than it actually turns out to be.  Instead it's filled with long scenes of senseless babble which he usually writes quite well, which is a shame because here he had a chance to do it with a nearly all female cast rather than his usual all male cast.  There's two wonderfully entertaining vehicular carnage chase scenes that are well worth checking out but the rest is boring garbage that doesn't rise to the potentially campy fun it could have been.

2 twisted nerves out of 5

PLANET TERROR [2007]

Robert Rodriguez sets out to make crap and has a pretty good time doing it in the Grindhouse zombie exploitation film Planet Terror.

From hokey performances to scratched film & missing reels, the film feels pretty genuine to what Rodriguez was aiming for.  Unfortunately, the films run way too long and the joke wears off long before it's over, although I get the feeling the film-makers didn't give a rat's ass.  No matter, Marley Shelton is always funny and I think I found myself drooling over Rose McGowan once or twice.

...oh I should probably mention, the DVD's actually smell like BBQ sauce. 

2½ melting penises out of 5

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

I'm not the biggest fan of the original film, but I know my way around the sword-and-sorcery epics of the 1980s. This isn't one of them. It feels way too damn polished and glossy for such a brutal tale, which makes it recall more the likes of the new Clash of the Titans, Prince of Persia and The Scorpion King...which were all pretty "eh." In all honesty, I found the earlier scenes of young Conan the most thrilling; older Conan is too much of a pretty boy and the female lead felt equally too PC and "safe."

1 emergency Cesarian out of 5

SCREAM [1996]

The 60's had Psycho, the 70's had Halloween, the 80's had A Nightmare on Elm Street and the '90's had Scream.
It single-handlely revived the teen slasher flick genre to a whole new generation of blood thirsty teens. While dissecting and poking fun at the rules and faults of all the horror films we've grown up with, it also pays tribute and breaks & follows all those elements as well.
Scriptwriter Kevin Williamson mastered the art of writing teen dialogue and actually makes it sound like real teens and not what Hollywood had portrayed them as before. A highly entertaining & talented cast elevates Scream above the usual slasher flick fare and establishes it's spot as one of the best horror films made.

4 excellent Norman Bates quotes out of 5