Zootopia 2 (2025)

Sequel to the popular Disney film about anthropomorphic animals, featuring the unlikely partnership of Judy Hopps (sexy bunny) and Nick Wilde (sly fox) on a slithery mystery adventure that threatens to expose the origins of their storied utopia. Not quite as enchanting as its predecessor, in some ways, this feels like The Bad Guys all over again, except these are clearly the good guys. It's cute, it's cuddly, it's colorful, it's innocuous. No one is changed for it.

And I'm just going to come right out and say it. I want to fuck that rabbit. 

2 gateways to furryism out of 5

TED 2 [2015]

Let's face it, when it comes to Seth MacFarlane films it's important that the viewer's expectations are lowered in order to enjoy them.
The sequel to 2012's Ted does everything in it's power to prove this point.
Whether this is a good thing or not depends on your tolerance for unapologetically offensive humor but you will already know that if you've graduated from the first film and came back for seconds.  It's a thinly veiled knock on the controversy of gay marriage, as Ted, the talking teddy bear, can't marry his sweetheart when the law doesn't think he's part of their "warm-hearted Just as God Made Us" elite.  MacFarlane's love for the Golden Age of Cinema is cleverly proven in a song & dance main title sequence that had me grinning from ear-to-ear, while he manages to wiggle that love in the rest of the film beneath the loads of crude body fluid humor and haze of pot smoke.

3 black cocks out of 5

Planes: Fire & Rescue (2014)

Planes (2013) was a surprisingly endearing and clever film with an array of appropriately cast characters. Fire & Rescue returns with the core players (Dane Cook, Brad Garrett, Teri Hatcher, Stacy Keach), using the same underdog formula from the first. This time Dusty Crophopper must adapt when his racing prowess is endangered. Cook is still relatable and down-to-earth as ever, his voice giving humor to mere perfunctory exposition. A change of scenery of course comes with new characters and while they all sufficiently embody their roles, they don't live up to the range of flamboyant and colorful personalities from the first. But the amount of adventure has not only increased but intensified with many beautiful and thrilling feats of endangerment.

3 pick up trucks out of 5

MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN [2014]

I didn't think I'd want to see a CGI animated update of an old Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon.
Mr. Peabody & Sherman proved me wrong with it's high energy, non-stop humor and all around time-travelling romp of a good time.
Directed by The Lion King's Rob Minkoff, the film is surprisingly fast-paced, jammed with witty historical jokes and enough heart to keep you smiling when the credits begin rolling.  It's nothing like it's source material but that really doesn't matter because, let's face it, the original cartoon was about as much fun as watching paint dry in a funeral home.
By no means will this become a classic but it's got enough flash and enthusiasm to enjoy multiple viewings and then some.  

3½ creepy boys out of 5

BAD MILO! [2013]

Jacob Vaughan's horror comedy, Bad Milo! is a throwback to the '80's creature features, by using chirpy Mogwai-esque sound effects to rubber puppets & animatronics.
The first half of the film is hilariously stupid but fun, as it completely grosses you out with it's story about a murderous rage demon that makes it's home up a stressed out man's anus.  As the second half of the film spews out the joke begins to wear off but is salvaged by a few moments of great dialogue bits here and there. By the premise alone, you know this isn't going to be Citizen Kane but if you're in the mood for this sort of "shit" then it is worth a look at.

3 ancient myths surrounding the anus out of 5

TED [2012]

From the brain of Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane comes Ted, a charming yet outrageously offensive comedy about a man and his teddy bear.

Once the humorous novelty of a talking teddy bear with an attitude wears off, like Brian Griffin, you forget he's not just another human character.  It's got it's fair share of jokes that backfire but for the most part it's funny enough and never buries itself too deep into a schmaltzy ending like most films like this would do.

3 white trash girl names out of 5