Now and Then (1995)

In 1970, four friends pledge a pact to always be there for each other. 25 years later, they meet up and reminisce on the summer that brought them together. Everyone is terribly cast as the adults, although the biggest injustice to me is that they predicted that Christina Ricci would grow up to be Rosie O'Donnell. Thankfully, we spend the bulk of the story back in the past, centering around the friendship between 12-year-old girls who are obsessed with looks, boys and boob size, which isn't particularly deep. It's basically Stand By Me aimed towards girls, which is perfectly fine with me, although it lacks the gravitas associated with the former. The stakes are lower, but the sentiment is real.

3 friendship bracelets out of 5

Toy Story 5 (2026)

The reason this franchise hits so hard is because it's clearly made by people who love film and have a fond remembrance of childhood. Each one has been about embracing and leaving behind the past, and as we get older, so do our memories. The farther away we are from those experiences, the harder it hits.

This one tells the story of how electronic devices are leaving the traditional brick and mortar toys in the dust and forcing kids to grow up too quickly. It's easily the most depressing entry of the series and makes me feel older and more obsolete than ever because it hits on an inevitable truth. It seems like it's on the verge of having something significant to say, but then bails out at the last minute. It's a shame. Can't disparage our technological overlords, I guess...

2½ Lilypads out of 5

Toy Story 4 (2019)

Boy, 2019 feels like a long way behind. This film features the vocal talents of Don Rickles, Carl Reiner, Betty White, Estelle Harris and Carl Weathers, all of whom are no longer with us anymore. It also predates COVID, which feels like simpler times. Film truly is a time capsule. It's important to preserve the past.

Likewise, this franchise understands the value of legacy while continuing to take risks and reinvent itself, branching out in all new directions. This film is about those left behind who must move on from the past in order to find new purpose. It does it in traditional Pixar fashion and succeeds with flying colors.

This would have worked better as the last film in the series, but, you know...

3½ sporks out of 5

Zootopia 2 (2025)

Sequel to the popular Disney film about anthropomorphic animals, featuring the unlikely partnership of Judy Hopps (sexy bunny) and Nick Wilde (sly fox) on a slithery mystery adventure that threatens to expose the origins of their storied utopia. Not quite as enchanting as its predecessor, in some ways, this feels like The Bad Guys all over again, except these are clearly the good guys. It's cute, it's cuddly, it's colorful, it's innocuous. No one is changed for it.

And I'm just going to come right out and say it. I want to fuck that rabbit. 

2 gateways to furryism out of 5

Red One (2024)

This movie is a fucking nightmare. Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons) is a bodybuilder who works at a technologically advanced North Pole facility alongside his E.L.F. (Enforcement, Logistics and Fortification) bodyguard played by The Rock. A black ops team breaks into the facility and kidnaps Red, so they're forced to contact a cynical hacker (Chris Evans) to help track him down. At least I think that's what's happening here. The whole thing turns into a CGI fever dream in a hurry, with creepy uncanny valley effects that will probably traumatize children, and mythological creatures that feel like rejects from Nightbreed. The whole thing is just completely soulless and depressing, and doesn't even manage to manufacture those fake holiday feelings within me. It feels so corporate and hollow and goes on for so long, I could barely keep my eyes open. To be honest, I'm not even sure kids will get a kick out of this one.

One Krampus bitch slap out of 5

ZOOTOPIA [2016]

aka Zootropolis

Directors Rich Moore & Byron Howard put together a colorfully thoughtful feast for the eyes (and brain) with their gorgeously animated Zootopia.
Like Disney's 1973 animated Robin Hood adaptation, the viewer is brought into a world of anthropomorphic animals, seemingly living side-by-side in peace and harmony.  That is until their differences are put to the test, forcing the society to question whether they are as enlightened as they think they are.
With your usual garden-variety talking animal films (usually featuring martial arts panda bears) it's refreshing to see this one add in some intelligence and a number of important themes to ponder upon, like racism, sexism, unfair hierarchys and a heavy dose of xenophobia in a time of terrorism.  As Animal Farm-ish as it sounds there's no shortage of gags, excitement and all around good fun to be had for all ages.    

4 law-enforcing bunnies out of 5

THE GREEN MILE [1999]

Frank Darabont succeeds in bringing Stephen King's serial novel The Green Mile to the screen, moving the heart in a similar fashion as he did with The Shawshank Redemption. 

It's filled with wonderful performances by actors who fully understand the colorful and fascinating characters they're portraying.  The beautiful camerawork, music and art direction help make the 3 hour plus film never feel as long as it really is.  It's a dark, grim, yet strangely uplifting, reminder that there's magic in this world and how we'll find it in the most obscure of places.

4½ mice on the Mile out of 5