Species III (2004)

Maybe someone felt a need to tie up the loose ends of Species II (1998) or maybe they just decided that sci-fi horror fans are easy prey for this kind of shit. I'd put my money on the second option. Either way, this turd picks up the story from the exact point the previous film ended. It stumbles along just fine for a while, but then it begins to resemble a Buffy the Vampire Slayer script that didn't make the grade. We’re in teen horror movie territory. I want to go back home to adult world.

1 stolen ovum out of 5

Species II (1998)

A poorly received sequel to the poorly executed original that completely ignores the ending of the first film, which is something we all wished we could do. It brings back two of the lamest characters (Lenox and Baker) and attempts to offset their blankness by spicing things up with Natasha Henstridge in various states of undress.
There’s more depth to the story this time but the bulk of it is essentially a rewrite of the original. It’s pretty terrible, but it has some really great creature effects; the kind that the first film should’ve had.

2 natal nightmares out of 5

Species (1995)

Scientists make an alien/human hybrid using DNA data transmitted from the deep dark corners of space. You just know that’s going to end well.
Species could have been really amazing. The first half hour is great. The creature design is excellent. The CGI is bad. Natasha Henstridge is surprisingly good. Forest Whitaker is his usual great self. Everyone else is wooden. The pacing is clumsy. The finale is abysmal.  In the end it’s more shit than shine, but has a few moments that will please sci-fi/horror fans.

2½ parent traps out of 5

Ghosts of Mars (2001)

Taken as a whole, GoM isn't very good. The illuminated nights make everything look set-bound even though all exteriors were shot on location. Stath’s single-note action hero style doesn't fit well in the Carpenter world, and Ice Cube lacks any kind of menace. The SFX budget was small and it really shows. The generic, metal chugga-chug guitar stuff is awful.

Conversly, the ambient music is good, Pam Grier is cool and Natasha Henstridge is a perfect fit. There’s a strange, recurring use of a flashback within a flashback, having one character tell the tale of a different character.

The real saving grace is the commentary; I love a Carpenter commentary.

2 bottled teeth out of 5