Space Milkshake (2012)

I keep falling into the trap of 'it can’t be as shit as the cover implies,' but it almost always is.
Four workers on a sanitation space station (ie. garbage collectors) get into trouble when they succumb to greed. It's like a Canadian version of Brit sitcom Red Dwarf but with much less of the funny. The small cast do their best, but the lack of belly laughs in the script is a problem.
Special mention and kudos awarded for the old school creature effects.

2 duck tentacles out of 5

Species III (2004)

Maybe someone felt a need to tie up the loose ends of Species II (1998) or maybe they just decided that sci-fi horror fans are easy prey for this kind of shit. I'd put my money on the second option. Either way, this turd picks up the story from the exact point the previous film ended. It stumbles along just fine for a while, but then it begins to resemble a Buffy the Vampire Slayer script that didn't make the grade. We’re in teen horror movie territory. I want to go back home to adult world.

1 stolen ovum out of 5