Spider-Man 3 (2007)

The promise of the Venom symbiote entering the Spidey world got fans in a fap-tizzy prior to the release of film number three, myself included, but it's a huge disappointment. It appears from nowhere and has no motivation. Elsewhere some new characters are similarly devoid of back-story to leave more time for lengthy action scenes that'll please the action junkie or your twelve-year-old niece. Peter has some excellent scenes in a film that almost got the square button half-way through.

2 pills for Jameson out of 5

Spider-Man 2.1 (2004)

The first of the Spidey sequels strives to be more mature and less comic-booky in approach. Peter is dealing with his emotions in the aftermath of the first film. His movements while in costume are confident. His life out of costume is complicated. It's a more engaging story. The baddie is menacing while retaining a certain amount of relatable, human flaws. Even ninety percent of the action sequences are good times. And best of all there's less needy-whore Mary Jane. Director Raimi has fun with a hospital scene that'll have Evil Dead fans smiling and clapping with one hand.

4 sticky wrists out of 5

Spider-Man (2002)

High school science nerd by day, costumed superhero without pockets by night, Peter Parker has the worst of both worlds. The balance of action and characterisation could be better, but it's still damn good fun.
Casting is the biggest problem. Tobey Maguire is good as Peter, and J. K. Simmons is the perfect personification of J. Jonah Jameson, but the rest of the cast are either simmering just above average or downright irritating. If viewed as an essential set-up for the next film, it's easier to forgive its flaws.

3 reasons I'd let that bitch fall out of 5