Stop! That! Train! (2026)

What if a bunch of drag queens made Airplane!? Answer: It would've sucked balls. A runaway train is headed directly towards the eye of a "Stormaganza" and the conductor is taken out of commission, so it's up to the Glamazonian stewardesses and the President of the United States (RuPaul) to get them back on track. I'm a sucker for anything that follows in the broad footsteps of ZAZ, even when it's diluted by modern day sensibilities and wokeness, but this is such lazy, ill-conceived, low-hanging fruit. To turn a spoof of disaster flicks into something this disastrous takes a special kind of talent all its own. The result is something that feels far too safe and "inclusive" rather than poking fun at everyone equally. This feels like the absolute antithesis to Scary Movie.

½ a hot flashback out of 5

Old Dads (2023)

Three aging fathers find themselves raging against an increasingly politically correct world that is out of step with how they grew up. If you're a fan of Bill Burr's anger-fueled stand-up rants, this'll be right up your alley. Personally, I found it refreshing; the anger is cathartic. My only complaint is that it doesn't go hard enough. Some of the conventional choices in this film kind of took the steam out of it. It always bothers me whenever people try to claim this stuff is conservative or "boomer" humor (technically Gen X), when it's merely calling out the bullshit and the hypocrisies of modern life. I find it very telling that I relate more to these "old dads" than I do to people of my own generation.

3½ rap lyrics you sing when no one else is around out of 5