Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

A group of friends past their prime and down on their luck attempt to rekindle memories of their youth at a ski resort they once frequented. One has to suspend disbelief when they discover their hot tub is a time machine. It's a blatant no-brains, have-a-blast type of comedy with plenty of raunchy humor and over-the-top performances. And despite a slow start, the film does a nice job of fitting in stories for each of the ensemble cast. Now in the 80s they act to change their pathetic destinies and find a way back to their own timeline. The only real eye sore is the absolutely terrible green screen effects.

3 one-armed Crispin Glovers out of 5

BLACK CHRISTMAS [2006]

Director Glen Morgan gives the Canadian slasher cult classic Black Christmas a modern retelling that feels like a large lump of coal up the ass.

I deserve the punishment I received by watching this for even thinking to myself "I know!  I'll give this one a try."  It's completely void of any sort of humour, genuine scares and originality, which sometimes can be forgiven with gruesome, hilarious death scenes but that'd be too good a punishment.  Some of the camerawork and lighting is interesting in the flashback scenes but even that gets a little irritating.  

A lazy, uninspired shitfest sums it up in a roasted chestnut shell.

1 flesh angel cookie out of 5