THE SCRIBBLER [2014]

Director John Suits adaptation of Daniel Schaefer's graphic novel The Scribbler is one of those films that is made with more passion than talent.
The story of a mentally disturbed young woman living in a bizarre alt. world psychiatric hospital tries to snuggle itself into something resembling a Frank Miller tale with it's gritty sex and violence.  If you're an "angry" 16-year-old emo-punk who loves reciting other people's anti-social monologues about hating society, being crazy, nasty Christians or this filthy humanity then this will be right down your alley.  If you're not into that juvenile sort of stuff then you're probably best leaving this one alone.  There's some great scene-chewing performances from it's "who's who of the nerd genre" cast and an exciting final act but it really isn't enough to make it worthwhile.

2 Suicide Suites out of 5

BLACK CHRISTMAS [2006]

Director Glen Morgan gives the Canadian slasher cult classic Black Christmas a modern retelling that feels like a large lump of coal up the ass.

I deserve the punishment I received by watching this for even thinking to myself "I know!  I'll give this one a try."  It's completely void of any sort of humour, genuine scares and originality, which sometimes can be forgiven with gruesome, hilarious death scenes but that'd be too good a punishment.  Some of the camerawork and lighting is interesting in the flashback scenes but even that gets a little irritating.  

A lazy, uninspired shitfest sums it up in a roasted chestnut shell.

1 flesh angel cookie out of 5