STRETCH [2014]

Director Joe Carnahan's Stretch channels the same sort of comedic bat-shit crazy adrenaline he gave 2006's crime-caper mess Smokin' Aces.
Patrick Wilson plays a down-in-the-dumps limo driver who races across a Southland Tales-esque LA to run errands for a crazed billionaire (hilariously played by Chris Pine) that enjoys snorting coke, hitting himself, snorting coke and burning things.   On the outside it seems like it's pure chaos being loud & weird for no reason but underneath it's a clever study of fate and confidence in one's own masculinity.  Sure it's heavily flawed in many areas but it races from beginning to end without ever taking a breath you probably won't even notice until hours later.

3 mustaches grown in Hell out of 5

THE A-TEAM [2010]

I was told by a few folks that director Joe Carnahan's bigscreen adaptation of the beloved '80's TV show The A-Team is a lot more fun than you think it would be.
...I was lied to.
I was never a fan of the series, so maybe I'm missing something here but with a concept so inane and shallow, I'd be difficult to find something of much substance to begin with.  There's a few entertaining moments of groan-worthy action sequences but nothing that memorable or satisfying.  The cast looks like they're having a great ol' time but it's never enough to carry on to the viewer.  A boring, predictable, loud and violent waste of time if you ask me.

1 flying van out of 5

SMOKIN' ACES [2006]

Writer/director Joe Carnahan attempts to go for a hip, violent and witty crime film in Smokin' Aces but just narrowly misses the mark.

It's a bit of a mess, lacks any sort of interesting character developments and never fully realizes it's own potential but can be pretty damned entertaining at times.  It's got a huge cast which keeps you guessing who's going to bite the bullet next and makes for a pretty intense finale but it just simply tries to hard to be "cool and shocking". 

2½ white trash karate kid boners out of 5

THE GREY [2012]

Liam Neeson continues his run of angry, violent revenge/survival films in the unsettling and dreary The Grey.

Directed by Joe Carnahan, this suspenseful piece of depression tells the story of plane crash survivors struggling to stay alive in the wilderness of Alaska while being hunted down by a pack of vicious wolves.

The Grey is brutal, unapologetic and void of all hope yet manages to wrap all that around a meaningful heart that allows you to actually care.  

Plus, those wolves are feckin' scary.

3½ leaps of faith out of 5