Mandie and the Forgotten Christmas (2011)

Mandie is back and as terrible as ever in this sad excuse for a Christmas film. Most of the actors from the first two movies are replaced, and Mandie herself has been recast, but everyone is still completely incapable of acting. This is actually based on Mandie and the Forbidden Attic, but a Christmas plot was shoehorned in, presumably because they thought it would sell more DVDs.

The original story is one of the more dark and creepy Mandie tales, but they completely re-wrote it to the point of it no longer making sense. Generally speaking combining a privileged rich girl with a pretty awful tale of abuse and neglect isn't a good idea, but if the people making these movies had good ideas, they would probably know that movies are supposed to have things happen in them. At least my torture is done....for now.

0.5 ladies in bad wigs and girls in hideous hats out of 5.

Mandie and the Cherokee Treasure (2010)

Even though the first Mandie movie was bad in a way that's not terribly entertaining, I hate myself, so I decided to sit down and watch the second one as well. This is actually a big improvement over the first movie, but that was so bad that that doesn't really say much. People still change accents on a dime, and when Haley Mills finally makes her appearance in the last 10 minutes, she looks like an Oscar winner. What really struck me as I watched this was how unlikable they made all the characters (except Uncle Ned). I don't think the folks making this really get what the appeal of the Mandie books was. She's supposed to be daring and clever, not dumb and whiny, and no one wants to watch a mystery adventure film about a bunch of kids acting stupid until they finally stumble into success. Unless they're me, apparently.

1 character from the first film inexplicably dressed in drag out of 5.

Mandie and the Secret Tunnel (2009)

The Mandie books were never high literature, just generic, mary-sue mystery stories that I happened to love because the leading character shared my name. But somehow, Mandie and the Secret Tunnel has managed to crap all over its meager legacy. Most of the cast is incapable of maintaining an accent, let alone doing any sort of acting. The editing is really, really strange. I actually thought there was a codec issue, but I eventually realized that that's the way the movie is supposed to be. At least 50% of the film is two girls stalling for time while they wait for a male to come accompany them so they can go explore and move the story forward. There's not really much of a plot at all, aside from the will hunt. THERE ARE LIKE 40 MANDIE BOOKS, GUYS. MAYBE NEXT TIME, ADAPT MORE THAN ONE AT ONCE.

0.5 sassy black house servants who like to say child out of 5.